Skai Natblida

care

Bellamy Blake meets Sihana-Valoj when he is proudly three (and a half) and she is almost one. Well, at least that's what he is told. Truthfully he doesn't remember much of those early years as is common for children. Once he can remember that far back the memories are occupied by Octavia.

What he does remember is a small girl with big brown eyes sitting down next to him without saying a word. Bellamy was suspicious. So far all he's seen of younger children is that they are messy and loud. And Bellamy is trying to read a Big Adult book with Long Words that his mother allowed him to check out from the library. But after awhile of silence he grows used to her presence.

Which is why when she finally speaks he drops his treasured book.

"Read to me," she demands in a surprisingly calm and understandable voice. Bellamy simply stares for a beat until the girl sighs and picks up the discarded book. She repeats herself and he's too shocked to argue.

And so it continues. Whenever his mother is delivering finished clothing or picking up new (for them) textiles Bellamy will head to the child center. He's either in school at this point or reading about endless possibilities.

It's funny, he thinks, how the people once on Earth longed to explore the stars. How most of their stories and myths involve the gods living in the sky.

After some time (after Octavia, his traitorous brain whispers) he stops showing up.

But she's always there, he would say in the background but that wouldn't be quite right. He knows her story. Flew through all the required courses for her age group, shadows different Council members on rotation, she's even the first kid from Factory given permission to self-study.

"It's because they finally figured out they had nothing left to teach me," he hears her whisper to another girl in the hall between their homes. The other girl giggles but Bellamy can tell how tense it is and sees the resentment in her eyes.

Strangely enough Bellamy doesn't feel that way. Most people in the lower sectors (basically everything that isn't Phoenix) feel one of two ways. They either respect the young girl and use her story as an example to lower class children. Or they envy her seemingly easy achievements while mocking her success.

But Bellamy remembers the girl who would toddle over to his secluded corner, knobby knees and panting with excitement. The same girl who would listen as he read the same words over and over. Each time growing with confidence and pronouncing the words a little more clearly. Demanding yet gentle and always parting with a crisp "thank you" before skipping off like a fairy in his stories.

So that, along with other reasons, is why it surprises him when they start talking again.

She already has friends her own age. Even mingling with upperclass kids from Alpha of all places. What could she possibly want with a loner who spends most of his time at home?

It starts similar enough to their first meeting. With Bellamy reading a book by a window and Sihana-Valoj (she doesn't mind being called Ana or Val, the part of his brain that remembers useless information provides) sitting right in his personal space then offering an apple.

"Where did you get this?"

He's awed. Hardly anyone has access to fresh produce, with most of it being preserved then processed into ration bars. His curiosity is quickly overtaken by unease. Bellamy is nearly sixteen now, and one of the most important lessons that he's unfortunately learned from his mother is that nothing comes for free.

"Alpha kids don't know how good they've got it. Baby Jaha has a bleeding heart and Princess only likes the green apples. What life must be to have a preference on something we consider a luxury."

And the thing is, she gets it. That's what the other kids who tease her don't understand. No amount of knowledge can curb the way hunger tightens in your stomach. Still, he has to ask.

"What do you want for it?"

"Read to me. Just like old times, eh?"

While Bellamy is pretty sure she couldn't be able to remember any of that he isn't about to turn down what is basically free food. He saves the apple for later. And if Octavia's smile is brighter than usual, well no one has to know if he starts to not mind Sihana-Valoj.

And so it begins, or resumes. They trade stories. She had much more interesting ones. Stories about entire civilizations and magical creatures, anecdotes about her friends and sarcastic comments about anything else. He's grateful for these stories. Really, he his. Bellamy hasn't had this much material to share with Octavia since she first started to get interested in the world around her.

But. He just doesn't understand why.

This girl has a golden ticket into the elite and more friends than fingers. So why is she spending so much time with a hopeful cadet who barely acknowledges her. Not that Bellamy doesn't like her. In fact, he'd go so far as to say he likes her too much. For all that they have their differences they also have more in common.

Valana (she cringed the first time he called her that, it's better than when most people actually try to pronounce my name, she said, but you can call me Sihana) lost her mother awhile ago, from a sickness no one understood. Of course it could have been that she isolated herself for months beforehand and didn't visit a doctor.

Bellamy knows what it's like to be raised by a single parent. At least he knows his parent loves him, the opposite being proven by the bruises on Valana's arms and the stiffness in her shoulders.

So a few years into their tentative friendship (he feels secure enough to call it that now) he nervously brings the subject up. It's on her sixteenth birthday and after she's flitted around the Ark to greet who knows how many people that he finally asks.

"Why are you my friend?" And sure he could have phrased it better or maybe not have been so blunt but she knows how he is by now so it would have been pointless. Instead of an answer she just laughs, which does nothing except make him amused and annoyed.

"Because you know what it's like to have a lifelong responsibility that haunts you. Because I can see the exhaustion in the bags under your eyes and the lag in your steps. Because I notice that no matter how much food I give you you never seem to put on any substantial weight. And because I recognize all of these things in myself so I know what it's like to wish someone would take care of me for a change."

She says all of this without taking a breath which is probably for the best because Bellamy is terrified and that translates into fury. He wants to scream and run and demand answers but above that he wants to curl up let himself be held. So he just nods and pretends like the conversation never happened.