Behind These Bars

Chapter One

One

When you are a child the people in the world can be easily sectioned off into two categories: the good guys and the bad guys. As a kid it is so easy to draw that line and separate the two. You know for a fact that as you get older and make your own decisions those choices will in fact put you in the category with Superman and the likes. Never in a million years would five year old me believe that I could possibly be in the latter category. Five year old me was unrealistic about life and it's circumstances though. Real life is nothing like the cartoons I used to watch on Saturday where there was a clear winner and loser, and that winner just always happened to be the good guy. No, in real life the line between the good and bad guys sometimes blurs, and it is hard to tell which category you fall under. The world is full of the haves and have nots, as well as the undecided. In my mind I fall in the middle category, but in the State of North Carolina's mind I fell into the last one.

In the years leading up to my incarceration in this wonderful institution known as Juvie, I was called by my name, Evangeline Antoinette Lafayette. Of course most of the time it was just Evangeline as my French mother had decided to give me the longest name in French history. I sometimes wonder if my suffering in kindergarten trying (learning) to spell my name had been (was) as joyous a thing for her as my suffering was now. But to get back on topic, for the sixteen and a half years up to my time in Juvie I had been called Evangeline. Now for the past six months my name has been 44687.

While in Juvenile detention you begin to learn a lot about yourself. One of the things I realized was that my memory is terrible. It took me two straight months just to learn my new 'name'. This meant that I spent those first two months getting screamed at by the Warden and the guards. If I had a dollar for all the times I was spit on by at least one of the two I would probably have made enough money to have posted my bail in the beginning. Another thing I gained insight on was that I am a very secluded person. Now don't get me wrong, I was never a sociable person before Juvie but I honestly think it has just gotten worse while I have been in here. The only person I have ever talked to that was not either the Warden, guards, or lunch lady was my roommate Jessica. Even then we only exchanged a few words as Jessica seriously creeped me out. While I was in here for a petty theft that was mostly harmless to society, Jessica had set her ex-boyfriends car on fire after she caught him cheating on her. Now I don't know about you but I really didn't want to befriend her in the fear that I would say something to upset her and she would set me on fire in the middle of the night. I mean you could never be too cautious. So besides the few words I spoke to Jessica every now and again I never really talked. The less contact I had with the crazy girls in this institution the better in my mind.

As time has showed me throughout the years, people can be cruel and shouldn't be trusted. This thought applied to the Warden here at Wake Juvenile Detention Center in Raleigh. She was the nastiest thirty-five year old that I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. Her name was Samantha Newburn. Her name sounded innocent enough but she was anything besides sweet. She ruled this place with an iron fist. If I believed in reincarnation I would say she had the soul of Hitler or Stalin. The fact that she was 6'2 and built like a man did not help matters. Anytime someone in here did something even slightly out of line she was quick to reprimand them. I had seen countless girls run from her office bawling from what she had said to them; and trust me the girls in here have thick skin. So when I heard the jingle of her keys during reflection time I knew something was about to go awfully wrong. All I could hear in the silence created inside these cement walls was the jingle of her keys as she approached closer to her destination. Her shoes made an ever present squeaking noise that I don't think I could ever get out of my head. To me and every other female in here the sound of jingling keys and squeaky sneakers were worse than even nails on a chalk board. These sounds meant ever present doom for some unfortunate soul. And today that unfortunate soul just happened to be me.

"44687 stand to attention!" screamed Warden Newburn. Immediately I rose to my feet and faced her with the calmest expression I could muster up. Newburn was the type of person that could occupy nightmares and enjoy it. You can see why I was timid and nervous about being near the lady.

"Yes Warden Ma'am?" I said in a calmer voice than I believed possible. I slowly looked up at the Warden to see her green emerald eyes. Those eyes could pierce through your soul in 2.5 seconds flat. Her eyes are what got her the nickname Medusa around the facility. She could freeze not only your heart but your chances at freedom as well. No one left without the Warden's permission. Even the guards had to report to her every morning and every night.

So when she announced good news I believe I heard an audible gasp consume all of the jails on my floor. "44687 I have been watching you during your time here at Wake Juvenile Detention and have discovered that while you do not exactly like authority figures you never question them. As the Warden here I take great pride in my role in straightening out the little deviants that roam around these halls but ever since you have been here the only trouble I have had out of you is your distastefully bad memory. With that being said I hereby release you from your stay here at this center. Gather your things."

I just stood there and blinked at the Warden. All I could think about the whole time during her partially self-righteous speech was one word: freedom. If I hadn't seen the murderous glare Jessica was sending my way I might have thought it was a dream. Slowly I opened my mouth and replied with a simple, "okay." Slowly I went over to my side of the room and began gathering the few items I had in my arms. It wasn't much to carry as I only had two books, a toothbrush, and a hairbrush. I also grabbed the small set of brushes and paints that I had received during art time when the teacher had seen my artistic potential.

I walked towards the Warden who had already opened up our door so that I could get out. In this very moment I had wanted to look back at my cell, back at Jessica, back at all the people who I had spent the past five months of my life with but I didn't look back. I kept walking right behind the Warden with my head held high. I wasn't going to look back because by looking back that would mean that this place had won. It would mean that I wanted to remember my time here. And trust me when I tell you that this place is the last place that I want to have a memory of. I didn't look back because this place was part of my past and I intended for it stay in the past. What I was walking towards now was my future and I planned on never seeing this place or these people ever again.