First and Last (Love and Hate Book 1)

Chapter 23

"Landon you're a hypocrite," I said starting things off.

"I know." He said, shocking everyone. I expected him to put up more of a fight.

"You do?" I reached over and grabbed Hayden's hand for support.

"Yeah, of course, I do. I'm dating your best friend, yet I don't want you to date my best friend. It's hypocritical." I furrowed my brows.

"I don't really know where to go from here." Landon sighed running his hands through his hair.

"Remember when I asked you if I could ask Beth on a date?" I nodded.

"Of course, but I don't know what that has to do with any of this."

"You knew I liked Beth, but you didn't have to give your blessing. You did though."

"Yeah, I know, is this going somewhere?" He took a deep breath.

"Why did you say yes? You said I had your full blessing to date, Beth. What made you give me that?"

"I could tell you cared about her. I knew I could trust you with my best friend's heart." I smiled, remembering the look on his face when I told him I fully supported him dating my best friend.

"Exactly, you know me and you know Beth. I'm your brother, you've known me since the day you were born. Beth is your best friend. She shares things with you, that she doesn't share with me. You have a special bond." I smiled, thinking about my best friend and how important she is to me.

"You're right, I know all Beth's secrets." I smiled at my best friend, totally forgetting this was supposed to be a fight.

"The same thing is true with Hayden and I. He's my best friend, I know how he thinks. I've seen how he treats women and no offense, Hayden, but I don't trust you to not break her heart." I suddenly understood Landon's actions.

I wasn't seeing things from his point of view. I thought he was still treating me like a child, that he didn't want me dating his best friend, because I was just his little sister. I was wrong. He wants to protect me and as much as I appreciate him being a protective big brother, I don't need to be protected.

"Landon, you don't need to protect me."

"Yes, I do!" He was starting to get worked up and I have no idea why.

"Lan-" He cut me off before I could even start.

"I'm your big brother, I'm supposed to protect you and I can't fail again." I furrowed my brows.

"What do you mean fail again?" I was really hoping this wasn't about my virginity. I thought we moved past that.

"I abandoned you when you needed me. I was off partying with Hayden and Leo, while you were struggling. You shouldn't have been stuck in the middle of our parent's fights. I was enjoying my life while you were being used as a bargaining chip." My eyes watered and I looked away.

"It's fine, I'm here, aren't I? I didn't die. It wasn't your responsibility Landon." I needed to leave. So, I got up and all but ran to the kitchen. I immediately went to the freezer and dug out the hidden bottle of vodka.

I opened it and took a big swig.

"You know, that's a terrible coping mechanism." I rolled my eyes.

"What do you want Landon?" He grabbed the bottle and took a swig.

"I heard you and Beth talking a while back. You were telling her about how hard it's been for you and how no one noticed you were falling apart." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.