First and Last (Love and Hate Book 1)

Chapter 33

I've been in a perpetual state of numbness since spring break. It's like Hayden took a piece of my heart with him. I hate that I gave him the power to hurt me this way. I gave him my heart and he mistreated it.

I was willing to forgive him for standing me up because he was genuinely sorry and some of it was out of his control. He didn't mean to get stuck at a coffee shop with a dead phone. Yes, he should have planned better or gotten it the day before or sent someone else. He could have avoided the whole thing if he wasn't such a dummy, but his intent wasn't malicious.

I wouldn't have been mad at him for running into his ex and having coffee while they waited. I mean he had no control over who walked into that coffee shop or who sat next to him. If he was honest, if he'd just told me the truth, I wouldn't have been mad. I'd probably have been peeved, but I would have gotten over it.

Everything could have been avoided if he had just been honest. He lied and I can't be in a relationship with no trust and he broke my trust.

I do regret telling Landon that I slept with Hayden. It has made the tension in the apartment suffocating. I hate it, but I don't know how to fix it.

"Umm, earth to Kallie?" I looked up to see my friends staring at me looking concerned.

"Where is everyone?" Beth rolled her eyes as she rubbed her growing stomach.

"They left. You've been practically catatonic for the past hour." I squeezed my eyes shut feeling terrible. I spaced out and missed my best friend's baby shower.

"Yeah, are you alright? I know the breakup has been hard on you, but we are all starting to get worried." Bridget said in a disturbingly soft voice.

"Sorry, I know it's been like a month, but all I can think about is how my boyfriend spent my birthday flirting with his ex." Beth literally scoffed.

"That guy is crazy about you, there's no way he would do something like that to you." I shook my head refusing to believe.

"She's right. I spent a lot of time with Katie freshman year. We rushed together. She's a delusional, manipulative, self-absorbed, bitch with a god complex." My eyes widened at Bridget's colorful description.

"What do you mean?"

"She's convinced everyone is in love with her. When we were both pledges, she used to make comments about being uncomfortable around a girl who looked at her the way I did." She said the whole thing with a grimace.

"How did you look at her?" I asked, curiously.

"Not the way she thought I was. She said I was giving her bedroom eyes, that I was trying to undress her with my eyes. She said it was obvious I was attracted to her and that it was never going to happen. She's not even my type!" I laughed.

"What is your type?" Beth asked the question we were all thinking, "Well, besides boobs."

"Well, you know I'm a breast girl. Other than that, I'm not a fan of blondes. I like to be the only blonde in the couple. I also like to be the tall one. Shy girls are fun and they have to be natural. Dyed hair and makeup are one thing, but ridiculous fake tan and plastic surgery just isn't my thing. I like natural tits, like Beth's. Glasses are cute, but not a requirement, more like a bonus. I'm not picky." We all laughed.

"Not picky? Bridget, you just named like ten things." Josie said.

"Ok, maybe I'm picky, but at least I know what I want, unlike some people," She the fake coughed, "Josie" We all laughed, "Anyway, you can't trust a word she says."

"She may have thought you were into her, but that doesn't mean she misinterpreted things to that point." Josie rolled her eyes.

"I never met her, but she was hanging out with Hayden, in their dorm room when we video chatted. After she was done mauling Hayden, she walked over and looked in the camera. She gave me this condescending smile and said 'Wow Lee, she is real. I thought you made her up, so we would think you didn't want me. Guess, you just love us both.' After she and Hayden left, Leo told me how much he hated her. Landon too." I sighed.

"Yeah, same. I met her a few times when I came to visit Landon and even though he clearly felt nothing but disgust for her, she kept telling me if I didn't keep a tighter leash on my man that he was going to leave me for her and she just wasn't interested in him that way. She's the worst."

"She didn't want to share a tent with me on our yearly sorority camping trip, so she told her big sister aka the sorority president that she couldn't share with me. She was worried I would try to watch her undress. Ridiculous. She conned her way into the president's tent and manipulated them into letting her move into the house even though pledges can't live there. She told some sob story that was pretty much just in her head." Bridget seemed genuinely pissed.

"Oh and on another one of my visits when I told her Landon had no interest in her and that she was the one who needed to back off, she laughed in my face. I will never forget her words, she said and I quote, 'Sweetie, I know you're still a child, but that's not how the world works. All men want me, even the gay ones, and most girls as well. I'm young, hot, blonde and I have a banging body. Doesn't matter if they are ass men, breast men, or leg men, I have what they want. You might be in denial, but your boyfriend has been coming onto me for months.' I wanted to murder her. Still do."

"Jesus, I'm starting to see what you mean." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I've been holding onto all these feelings for the past month. Anger, betrayal, heartbreak and they may be all because of a woman who thinks everyone loves her, "What do you think I should do?"

"That depends, how do you feel about him? Do you love him?" I inhaled sharply at Beth's question, "Kallie, do you love Hayden?"

"I-"

++++++++++++

Chapter 33! Hope you guys are liking this, we are almost done!

At most 5 chapters left.

God, I can't believe this book is almost done. I have spent so much time on it and worked so hard.

I didn't know how this story would develop when I first started, but I can genuinely say I love how it's turned out.

Thoughts? Opinions?

Remember to Comment! Vote! and Share!

Much love

-Kassie.