Memories {a Parvill fanfiction}

*^*Chapter Five*^*

Will's favourite memory came about fourteen months before the accident. It was just a normal night, although he'd gotten home from work later than usual. Parvis was already asleep in bed.

He climbed in beside the other man, facing away from him and closing his eyes, trying to fall asleep. When he couldn't, Will turned over in bed and looked at Parv's bare back, the skin soft-looking and smooth.

Hesitantly, he placed a finger in his back. The dark haired man shifted slightly, but did nothing more. Letting out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, Will traced words onto the back of the other man. Three words, words he'd never had the courage to say aloud, followed by a name.

After the first time, Will traced them again, and again, and again, until he was just confessing himself in an endless cycle to the man that lay in front of him.

'I love you, Alex'.

Letting out a sigh, Will turned back over and rested his head on his pillow, not expecting a pair of arms to wrap around his waist, nor did he expect a voice to say quietly, "I love you, too."

Will stiffened at the breath that was so close to his ear. He wasn't usually a very intimate person, and he'd never really been in that serious of a relationship. Not that he and Parv were in a serious relationship, and he definitely had not imagined it. Well, he had, Will just wasn't comfortable with admitting that to himself.

He kind of just lay there until Parvis turned away and rolled to the other side of the bed. Will rolled onto his back after a few minutes and stared at the ceiling, tracing patterns in the paint with his eyes. He was sure that Parv was asleep until he felt another hand clasp his own.

The blond risked a glance at the Brit, who was in his side facing him, in fact asleep, and smiling slightly. Will let out a sigh and closed his eyes, not taking his hand from Parv's grasp, and fell asleep beside him.

In those days, sleeping really was the easiest thing in the world.

Now Will couldn't even close his eyes without images he'd worked so hard to forget clouding his vision. Blood; tears; Parv. Everything was horrible, everything hurt, and everything felt like a lie. His life felt like a lie.

Maybe because it was. All of the things that had ever happened seemed minuscule and false compared to the things William felt when he thought about Parvis. And he was always thinking about Parvis.

He'd tried seeing a therapist, but they never understood. Most of them were married with children. Those who weren't were with a significant other already. Therapists just told him about not suffering, taking care of himself, and going back out into the world to find somebody new. Will wasn't stupid, he ate enough, slept enough, and showered, and he knew that there were other people who could love them. They just weren't Parvis.

Sometimes, when the day didn't seem to be as bad as they usually were, Will would actually leave their house and meet up somewhere with Parv's old bandmates. They'd just spend the day talking, the other three seemingly okay. Often times, Will pretended to be okay in front of them. And a lot of the time, it actually worked.

But Sparkles* always seemed to know what was going on through his mind. He'd shared a flat with Parv initially, so he'd spent more time with him than the others. He remembered Parv the best of the band did. Not as best as Will did, though. Obviously.

Once in a while, Sparkles* would come over and make himself at home, eating all of the ice cream in the fridge and playing video games while Will moped around the house, occasionally joining in on the video games. Sometimes Sparks* would spend the night on the couch, but he was always gone the next day, and Will couldn't help but wonder if he didn't actually sleep there.

Remembering Parv was a difficult, sorrowful task, but at least he had somebody to remember him with.