Maybe This Is Love, |✔️

Chapter 27

Silas' hair has grown past his shoulders. I know this because he is currently standing in front of me, holding a baseball bat aimed at Parker.

"Where the hell have you been?" He yells. He looks really angry, his eyes flared and twitching. "What did you do to my sister?" He directs the question to Parker who was stuck clutching my hand, looking terrified out of his mind. He had insisted on dropping me home after our little trip, he was worried about leaving me out in the cold all by myself. He probably didn't expect to be verbally attacked by a 5'8 Greek man in a reindeer onesie.

"I-" Parker starts, his mouth moving up and down like a fish but I interrupt him.

"He didn't do anything to me!" I shout back. I am angry at him too and I have every right to be. Where had he been all this time, huh?  "Don't even act like you care all of a sudden."

The sound of the hard metal bat clinks to the concrete as Silas suddenly drops it. "You spoke."

I blush. I'd forgotten that a lot had changed since I last saw my brother. "I speak."

"Wow, it really is Christmas, " His face breaks into a relieved smile. He looks so different to how he used to look. He no longer had that shorn down haircut and his chin was all stubbly from the remnants of an old beard. His eyes aren't sunken in or tired-looking anymore and he looks generally happier. Maybe, that break away from the family was needed. Maybe, I should've been more considerate of how he felt, it must've been tough to take care of all of us.

It had to have been so heartbreaking to be the one who found Papas lifeless body.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I came home to find a bunch of vehicles outside of my house. There was an ambulance, a police car and several officers. Silas was standing there with a towel around his neck, Pops had his arm around him and they were speaking to two policemen. His eyes were bloodshot and his hands kept trembling. He couldn't look me in the eye when I asked him what was wrong and why there were so many people in the house.

He runs to me now and he holds my face in his hands as he used to when I was younger. "You've changed so much bear, what have I missed?"

"Where did you go, Silas?" My arms slump by my side. It'd been too long. I felt guilty for being upset but I couldn't help it. I felt so abandoned by him."You stopped caring Silas. No calls, no texts, no emails. Not even a fucking letter. And now the one person who gives me hope, who gives me joy, you want to take away from me?"

"I didn't stop caring, I just started caring for myself." He takes a look at Parker and looks back at me. "And I'm not trying to take your lad away, I just wanted to know wherever you disappeared to on Christmas Day, that's all. Who is he anyway?"

I reach out and hold a terrified Parkers hand. "This is my boyfriend, Parker."

"Ah, boyfriend, eh?" He smirks at me. "The days go by so quick. Little Harleys got a boyfriend." He ruffles my hair with his hand.

"Pleasure to meet you," Parker says, relaxing now the bat was safely on the ground.

"Likewise." He ties his hair back into a ponytail and holds out his hand to me. "Right, you need a bath and a cup of tea, get in."

I reluctantly let go of Parker and kiss him on the cheek. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Parker waves goodbye and I close the front door.

"My little rebel, sneaking away to hang with your boyfriend?" He's still smirking down at me, tears in his eyes. "I've spoken to Pops, he's going back to work full time and guess what?"

"What?" I ask, wondering why he looked like he was about to burst out laughing and crying at the same time. "I'm back to stay! Well, after I graduate this spring."

"Si, that's great!" I squeal and hug him.

"See, Blair-bear, we're going to be a proper family again. I promise." He says into my hair.

"Can we go visit him?" I ask. We haven't been in so long especially together.

He sighs. "Tonight's the night, isn't it?"

All the drama and excitement of being with Parker made me forget it was the anniversary of Papas death. Coming back now was bringing back all the memories of that day.

It was Boxing Day, the day after Christmas. We had such a perfect family night before. It was the first and last time we celebrated Christmas as a family.

"Come on," He ruffles my hair. "Have a wash and get changed. I'll get us a cab, kid."

Standing at his gravestone, we hold each other's hands.

"Miss you, Dad." Silas lays a flower down. It was yellow, Papa's 'happy' colour.

"I'm still angry at you," I aggressively rub my eyes, trying to get rid of the tears. "I wish I wasn't but I am. I used to think you were so selfish. I don't think you realised how much your death haunted me, how much it affected me. I tried to understand why but I'd end up just feeling helpless and lost. I couldn't understand what it was that made you so unhappy. I couldn't fathom what you were feeling inside that made you not even want to be alive anymore. I guess I'll never understand and that's something I'll always live with. I hope someday I find the peace to finally forgive you. I'm on my way there with the help of therapy and I'm learning to accept the fact that you never even said goodbye." I place my flower down, tracing his name on the marble.

Silas puts his arm around me and he pulls me in for a hug. Pops would've been here but I don't think he's ready yet. Hopefully, now that he's agreed to therapy he'll be able to go next year.

"I was going to wait until you were 18 to give you this but I suppose you're already an adult now," he hands me an ivory coloured envelope. "Dad left this for you before he left, he did say goodbye."

I take the letter and open it. My hands tremble as I read the words written on it in my Papas familiar handwriting.

Now, it was my turn to cry.