A Silence to Remember (manxman)

Chapter 9

Dominick

I wanted Josh to do it, but Josh fucked everything up. I told him to be quiet, but he laughed, shaking his head. "Everyone is deaf here," he said.

Well, he was wrong. No job requirement stipulated you had to be deaf in order to work in a deaf school. You just had to know ASL.

I pushed Josh's head away, quickly covering my body with a blanket. I swore I'd never get naked with another guy for the rest of my life, doomed to live a life of celibacy with nothing but my hand getting action.

"Didn't you press the button?" Josh asked the man. A red light flashed inside the room when the doorbell was pressed.

"Yes, but you were too busy to see it," the man signed. "I could hear you both."

That's what I told Josh.

"He has ten minutes to get dressed and get out," the man continued. "Or I'm calling both your parents."

The man stormed out, slamming the door. Josh erupted into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. Nothing about any of this was funny.

"Do you want me to finish?" he asked.

"Are you kidding me?" I said, gathering up my clothes, forgetting for a second that he was deaf. Sign language was becoming tedious, and I longed to express my thoughts with words.

"What did you say?" Josh said. "I hate it when you talk and don't look at me."

"I'm going home."

"Can I come with you?"

"No."

I wasn't in the mood—or prepared—to explain Josh to my parents. He wasn't like any of my other friends. He didn't look like any of my friends. Scared and embarrassed, I just wanted to get the hell out of there and maybe never come back. Josh's hand was warm on my shoulder as he tried to kiss my cheek, like it would somehow make everything right. In fact, it made things worse.

Jumping to my feet, I shrugged him off and ran out of his room without another word.

Halfway down the stairs, I had a change of heart. I couldn't just leave him like that, abandoning him like a heartless jerk. I didn't want to leave angry.

I barged into his room to find him getting dressed. Guilt overcame me as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Fuck off," he flipped me off.

As I stood in front of him, I held his chin, forcing him to make eye contact with me. "I'm sorry," I said. "I can be such a dick."

"Did you say you're a dick?"

I nodded.

"Yeah, you are," he said. "Go home, Dominick."

"Don't be mad at me. I'm sorry. I'll see you soon."

He wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand.

"You can't come home with me," I signed. "I'm not out. If you come home with me, then..."

I struggled to find words that wouldn't hurt him, but the damage was already done.

"You're afraid people will think you're gay if you're seen with me," he finished my thought. "Well, you are!" he shouted. "Get out, Dominick. Just go."

"Don't be mad at me," I signed, pleading with him. "Maybe we can see each other this summer."

"I'll believe it when I see it."