Chapter 32

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ROCCO

When the bell rang, I felt weird. Now, did me and Jax have to split up? We hadn't parted ways since the football tournament, and I didn't know if I wanted to. If he left now - would he come back?

He was looking at me. "Now what?" He said, smiling a bit. 

What if he just came back to my house? Stayed the night? Stayed forever?

Then he stiffened. "Fuck," he said. "I gotta go find Ryan."

My heart sank, but I nodded. "Yeah, you do what you gotta. But after..." I grinned. "I can get the car - we can go on a drive? Just us? Meet me on the field, by the changing room, eight o'clock. I know a place in the woods. "

"A place to kill me?" He laughed, a little less heavy. "Sure. For you, anything. "

"Ok, " I said. It was hard not to smile all the time around him. I stood up, "It's a date." 

I heard him laugh behind as I left. "Yeah it's a fucking date. Bitch. " 

-

Only my mom was there when I got home. She was in the kitchen, which smelled great - she was icing some muffins. 

We hadn't talked really, not since I told her I was gay - I hadn't been home very often, and then there had been tourney. 

I put my bag down cautiously by the door. "Hi mom, " I said. I wasn't scared of anything she could say - I was confident in myself now. How could you not be, when there was a Jax Wilson beside you? 

She turned quickly. "Oh, Rocco, " She said, stiffly. "How - how was tournament? I heard it was canceled." 

I went over and grabbed a glass from the cupboard, filling it up with water from the sink. 

"Yeah, yeah it was. But one game we played - man! Training is definitely paying off. We're stronger, faster - but I think the main thing is that we worked together - so well. The chemistry - its the best teamwork I've ever had in a team. "

She beamed at me. "That's great! All thanks to your leadership, I'm sure. "

I waved a hand. "Nooo, mom. I do my best, but that would mean nothing if everyone else didn't. Anyway, smells good! When are those done?"

She slid a badly-iced muffin towards me, and took a nice one for herself.

We ate in silence for a while, then she cleared her throat. 

"I've been wanting to talk to you, " she began. 

I kept eating my muffin, nodded. 

"You say you are gay - why? Why do you say that?"

I swallowed my mouthful. "Not say, mom. I am sexually attracted to guys. Only. I can't help it and I didn't choose it - why would anyone choose it, if that was possible, anyway? Gay people and gay couples get treated so badly by everyone else. "

She took a bite of her muffin and chewed slowly, thinking. 

"What about God?" she said suddenly. "He will shun you."

Wow. She was getting right into it.

"See, I don't think He will. God wants love, right? Only love. What I'm doing is not harming anyone. "

She chewed some more, then turned her face towards mine quickly. "You said "what I'm doing"? What are you doing?"

Ok, she had got me - I felt blood rise to my face. "Uhhh. Um. Well..."

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