Ineffable Husbands One Shots

He Should Have Known...

~!~ Today's Good Omens Celebration prompt was Land! And despite the angsty-sounding title, this story is pure silliness and fluff. I hope you enjoy! :) ~!~

"No, Crowley, I will not participate in killing innocent plants!"

"But you don't have to kill them! You can just pull them out of our garden, and then miracle them somewhere else! Where they can continue on with their botanical lives," Crowley argued. He knew that since these plants were weeds they might just end up getting killed by someone else who was in charge of keeping up the land where they'd miracle them to, but he thought better of mentioning this. Aziraphale probably knew as well, but Crowley kept in mind that he'd have more of a chance of him agreeing to the weeding if this wasn't directly pointed out to him.

"Hmmm... Well, alright. If you would benefit from this, and the plants wouldn't actually come to any harm... I suppose I could see myself assenting."

"Yes! Great!" Crowley said, ecstatic that Aziraphale had actually accepted his flimsy reasoning.

The angel smiled at Crowley. "I'll get changed."

"Changed?" he asked, his brow furrowing.

"Yes. You don't wear your everyday garments for gardening."

"Er... true..."

"Mmhmm! So I'll find something to wear."

~×~

After some more negotiating with Crowley, Aziraphale had landed on wearing an undershirt.

But that did not solve the problem of his trousers. Apparently, they were all far too nice to get even a little dirt on them.

So, Aziraphale was searching through the closet, trying to find something that could work. He couldn't wear any of Crowley's pants as they were all viciously tight on Crowley's corporation, they could not possibly be comfortable for Aziraphale.

Meanwhile, Crowley was laying in their bed, scrolling through his phone and half tuning in to Aziraphale's long rambling about what he was finding in the depths of the closet.

The angel gasped.

"What is it?" Crowley asked disinterestedly. This was the fifth excited gasp of the hour.

"I think I've found something that might work!"

Crowley's body shot up into a sitting position. "Yeah?"

Aziraphale turned around, his smiling face closely framed by clothes. "Yes! Ta-da!" he said, thrusting a pair of ancient-looking khakis forward. "The last time I wore these was... well, by now, over a hundred years prior!"

"Oh? What was their purpose? They don't look like your usual style."

"Ah, no. I wore them whilst helping a group of humans look for the fossilized dinosaurs," Aziraphale explained fondly.

Crowley shook his head as a grin of disbelief spread across his face. "Why?"

"What do you mean 'why'?"

"I mean why did you help the humans look for dinosaurs when you know it was just Her little joke?"

Aziraphale made a fussy noise. "They- they all were so happy and- well... I didn't have the heart to do anything but help."

Crowley sneered at him, standing up from the bed. "You're a sap, you know that? A bloody overly sentimental sap," he said, his sneer rapidly turning into a soft smile. He placed a chaste kiss on his angel's forehead.