Not Likely

Things Get Completely Effed

Wait, what?

My eyes widened as I realised what her insane theory meant. "No, no, no, no, no!" I whisper yelled, dragging her away from him, feeling the previously ebbed blood rush into my face in hyper speed. "Ma, what the hell are you saying? He's not my boyfriend!"

She looked exasperated. "Okay, so I don't know all the slangs- what, he is your 'dude' or the 'one you're seeing'- all of this is semantics."

"No, he's not any of it at all!" I said, horrified. "Why did you think he's my boyfriend?"

But she was not listening to me. She just huffed and, to my even bigger horror, stalked up to him; he was looking quite confused, poor soul.

"So how are you doing, son?" she asked brightly, ignoring my horrified face and his equally confused one. "Dhriti has told me a lot about you."

"I have?" I asked, beyond lost now.

I tried to rack my brains as hard as possible. Never have I ever said anything remotely nice about this man; why, most of my complaints were work based and extremely impersonal.

How. Did. She. Come. Up. To. This. Conclusion?

"Ha, you think I didn't get the hints or what?" she asked smugly, like she had just bested me in my own game of mysteries.

"Ma, you have completely misunderstood everything-" I began helplessly.

"Older guy, new in town, family travelled a lot, quite opposite to you- and not to mention, he is all you talked about the last two weeks!"

I don't think my face could've gotten any redder, especially when Mr. Razdan turned to give me a look. "I didn't talk about him, I bitched about him- there's a big difference!"

"Oh, so you're lying now?" she challenged.

"I-I am not-this is- he is running late!" I said, lacking coherence due to my extreme frustration and not to mention, horror.

She turned to him. "You have a meeting right now?"

He seemed amused, blast him! Something about my extreme embarrassment seemed to entertain him. "No, ma'am."

"Well there you go!" she said triumphantly, turning to me. "He is free!"

"I am not talking about him!" I hissed, fighting the urge to pull out my hair.

"Then who?" she demanded.

I looked at my phone in despair as Ayush texted me.

Ayush: SO, so, so so, sorry. Traffic is a nightmare and the shoot just finished. Will take half an hour more.

Why was nothing working out for me today?!

"Ma, I just want you to listen to-"

"Why are we standing? Let me go confirm a table!" she said, and fluttered away, absolutely oblivious to my distress.

I covered my face in my hands, wishing for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Anything would be better than my current situation, trust me.

Even an earthquake would work.

"Why does your Mother think we are together?" he asked in a tone of icy politeness.

I looked up at him, cringing at the onslaught of strict dress down. He was looking quite grim now.

"Its a complete and total misunderstanding" I began. "She connected the wrong dots together to produce a different outcome. I will explain it all to her, you don't need to stay-"