Getting to know you [WinTeam]

Chapter 12 [Somethings missing]

Team

Manow asked Pharm and I to go shopping, and somehow Pharm was available -didn't think we'd ever see that guy again outside school. Anyways, here I am, at the mall.. being bored. And the worst thing is, I don't even hate shopping. But Manow is so goddamn slow, and Pharm 100 percent enables her as well. Agreeing with her that she should try the other pants again, while she already has tried them two times now. I will loose my mind. You know, I actually missed hanging out with them, but past me is a fool. If he knew the agony I am in right now, he wouldn't miss it. And maybe I'm overreacting because the ice cream shop I wanted to visit is closed for reconstruction, but that's besides the point.

"Team, what do you think of these pants?" 

Ohmyfuckinggod

"They are great, you should get them," please get them so we can be done here. "Hmmm, I'm not sure. Do you think it fits the top I just bought? You remember the top right?" Yes I remember the top you tried on 50 times before buying. "Yup. It fits."

"You should try these pants with the top," Pharm pleaseee stop enabling her. "Good idea! Why didn't I think of that?" She vanishes back into the changing room.

"Ahhhh, how do you hold it out with her man," I make sure to lower my voice. I don't like being here, but I do like Manow so I better not upset her. Pharm smiles, "normally she isn't this crazy with shopping so I'm suspecting she's shopping for a special occasion," he leans in closer and raises his eyebrows, "like a date." 

Shock

I can't contain my excited expression, "what? I haven't even noticed her talking to anyone."

"She vaguely mentioned someone to me, I think he's on the swimming team as well." Wow, what are the odds. Our whole friend group seems to be involved with the swimming team. Well- not me, not really. Why did I even think something so stupid.

"Okay, here is the fit. Thoughts?"

Honestly, Manow looks good. I wish she was more confident in her fashion picks, she's got good taste. "This is the fit for your date," Pharm nudges me. Should I not have mentioned the date? It kind of just came out. "Date?"

"That's on me," Pharm chimes. "You mentioned a boy not too long ago, and today you're really picky with your outfit, so I just kind of assumed you're going on a date." We look at her and wait for a reply. "You're a little detective, 'cus you are completely right." 

That's cute. 

"You guys really think I look good in this?" Pharm and I confirm it right away and she finally seems at ease. "I'll trust you guys on this one. I'm getting these pants and I will finally release you guys from this hell. As a thank you I'm buying us a meal. Decide what we're eating while I'm paying for this, alright?" A free meal does do wonders to ones mood. "Yup yup, sounds good." I turn to Pharm right away, "noodle soup?"

"Sure!"

--

The food is good but I am a bit distracted. Ever since Manow confirmed she's dating I just- Both Pharm and Manow are seeing someone right now; not only will I never see them again, but it's also making me think about me and, well, my dating life or whatever. I'm not convinced I've got one, or ever really had one. But my mind keeps going to Win. It's been a few days since we last talked. I sent him a text the day after... all that, apologising for lying. After which we had a short conversation because Win didn't want me to apologise. But that's about it. He isn't avoiding me on campus or during team activities. But he isn't reaching out to me either. I think it's because he wants to give me space, but I kind of miss talking to him. After all, we did have fun and we are friends. Or... I hope we still are. 

It's difficult making the first step. I wish he would stop giving me so much space, instead of me having to make the move. 

"You seem to have a lot on your mind today Team," Manow pokes my arm. Have they been talking to me or something? "What?" 

"Come on, tell us what's on your mind," where did this come from. Of course I won't tell them what's on my mind. "Nothings on my mind really. Just doing a bit of daydreaming," nice quick thinking. "If you say so," I see them exchange a glance, what was that about?

Win

These days I've been keeping my distance from Team, and honestly, I'm kind of bored. The conversations I have leave me bored, I can't get engaged because I just keep thinking about what Team and I could be talking about. He would make a snarky remark or get shy because of something I've said. Even when I'm trying to do something on my own like reading or watching a movie, it's just boring and I can't focus on it. I really- really want to see Team again, but I can't. It's obvious he doesn't want to see me, or talk with me. So, I shouldn't force it. As a way to fight my 'boredness' I've been putting way more energy into my swimming and studies. I can just loose myself at those times. Especially when I'm swimming. And I almost forget how I miss Team. 

I'm surprised at how hard I've fallen for him in such a short time. 

The kiss we shared made me fall even more. Which is ironic since the kiss is what drove us apart. Maybe I should try seeing someone else, to get Team out of my mind. When I'm over him we'll also be able to be friends again, without any.. unclarity. Would that be unfair to the other person? I guess it would. 

But, seriously, here I am at a bar. And all I'm doing is thinking of Team. I'm not even having fun with my friends, how shitty. It's like I'm experiencing a breakup, but without ever having the relationship. I didn't even feel like going out today, I got forced by my friends who've seen me being distant. The thought behind forcing me out is nice, so I won't complain, I just wish I could enjoy it more.

***

:)