His Chosen One

Seventeen

"Just five more minutes... Please... Please, Nurse Wendy..." The words slip from my mouth more quickly than I am able to catch them... My fear being that I'll end up sounding the opposite of how grateful I am to the kind nurse that she allowed me to come back after hours for this discreet visit in the first place... But my heart... It's breaking over the thought of leaving my Ezra again...

Its... It's more than just not wanting to be away from him... It's more than just being worried that when the sun comes in the morning that it shall bring with it a change of Ezra's favor and that when I arrive here tomorrow he shall turn me away saying that he's changed his mind... 

I'm terrified that he'll react the same way he did earlier... But this time... Instead of ruining his appetite for dinner, he won't be able to soothe himself enough to fall back into the same type of deep slumber that he's currently enjoying all snuggled up in my lap...

I don't want to watch this lovely charming young man dissolve into a heap of tears screaming for me not to leave him here all alone... He had nearly broken my soul earlier when I had to resist running back to him... And I am not sure I would be able to handle such a scene again without caving into the sound of his tears...

I know it would likely mean that I would not be invited back here or be welcomed to continue courting my sweet nymph... And if that happens... If that happens it would be a nightmare for us both... For I would be parted from who is now one of the most important people in my life... And Ezra would be stuck here... Unable to leave unless his family suddenly decides that they can care for him adequately at home... And I know that that... That being stuck here any longer than he has to be...

It's the last thing that my Ezra wants... And it's the last thing he needs...

He deserves so much more than this place... This... This prison... He deserves to feel the heat of the sun on his face without three panes of bulletproof and shatterproof glass separating him from knowing the feel of the wind that would love to ruffle his lovely caramel-colored waves and the smell that always comes after the rain when the sun reveals itself once more after a storm...

He deserves the feel of grass and true soil under his feet and to know what the perfect bundle of grapes looks like while it's still on the vine... And instead, his nurse is asking me to leave him here to be sheltered by these terrible pastel pink walls...

Asking me to leave him here... Even knowing that he'll be safe and protected and that for now while I court him and we get to know each other that this is for the best... It causes a tightening within my chest that feels as though it might make me collapse before I ever reach the front door... "Please don't make me leave him..."

I wish I could say that I know what expression Nurse Wendy makes at me and my ridiculous request... But I find that I cannot draw my eyes up from where they find themselves focused on Ezra's slumbering form... His face catching most of my attention with the lovely way his expression keeps changing as he dreams... The way he can not seem to help but nuzzle his sweet face into me every so often so very enchanting that I am unsure of how I would even be able to pull myself away from him in the first place... Much less actually leave...

"As much as I would like to let you stay, Love... I can't... If Ezalie shows up and you're here after hours she'll throw a fit and I'll lose my job...", The regret in her voice is so clear... And so pained... I know that she means it when she continues to speak, "No matter how harmless you or this visit actually are... If I knew she wasn't going to be here tomorrow I would just have me and you camp out in here until morning... If only so that I know our Ezra is actually getting some decent sleep... I worry about him so much..."

Her last words are what finally gets my attention... And I manage to actually look up at her as she hovers in front of us waiting for me to concede and figure out how to rise without disturbing our shared Angel... "You worry? Is... Is he not being treated well here? Or... Is it... Is it the way..."

I can't seem to say the words aloud... But Nurse Wendy does indeed seem to know what I mean and takes mercy on me, "The way he hates being left behind... Yeah... The poor Dear can't stand it here... The others have all made friends and bonded... But he's always been so shy... At this point, I'm not sure staying here is healthy for him... Not mentally...I don't think it really has been in quite some time..."

Her words soothe some fears and amplify others... My heart aching as I listen to the pain in her voice over the subject... My eyes turning back towards my Ezra when he lets the smallest whimper escape... His nose scrunching up over the noise of our whispered conversation... The feel of my knuckles caressing his cheek so soothing to him that he settles back down when I gift him the affection...

I give myself just a moment... A moment shared between the three of us and the security team member now currently leaning against the wall waiting for us to hurry up and start the process of turning in for the night... And while I'm not truly ready to leave I know that I must...