"Hello?" Dib heard banging from inside the house. There was no doubt that this was Zim's house. And with the reaction he got, it was clear that the rogue invader knew what he was here for. Dib mentally prepared himself for battle, grabbing a stun laser from his PAK. It was one of the few weapons he carried with him, and typically only to subdue experiments, but it may come in handy here. Finally the sounds of chaos from inside the house stopped, and the rogue invader gingerly opened the door.
"Thank you! I—" Dib had forgotten about the laser gun in his hand. Zim's eyes had landed on it and shrunk to pinpricks. With a screech, the rogue flung something at him, and Dib was blinded with pain. He collapsed to the ground, and barely registered himself being pulled into the house before he completely blacked out.
~
Zim managed to get the tall "home inspector" tied into a chair all by himself. A feat of strength considering his rather diminutive stature. He paced in front of the stranger, wondering what to do next. The bucket of water was still waiting in the kitchen, he could certainly start with that. He'd confiscated the stranger's gun and tinkered around with it, but it didn't make sense. Nothing he could take apart even with his vast array of tools. It was damn near inhuman.
" REBOOTING " A deep robotic voice filled the living room, sending Zim nearly three feet into the air in panic. Not long after, the stranger woke up, rubbing his head with a groan. Zim quickly flew into action, turning off all the lights and jumping onto the table with a flashlight, pointing it into the stranger's eyes.
"Who are you?!" Zim barked, turning the flashlight on and off rapidly. The stranger winced away.
"I— I'm here to— to— Would you shut that thing off? "
"I don't know, would you tell me your name? Who do you work for? What do you want with me? What's the deal with your gun?!"
"Dib" the stranger managed to say, struggling against the binds and swiping at the flashlight. "I'm not here to hurt you, I was sent by the Tallest to retrieve your weaponry, now turn that light off!"
"The who?" Zim reluctantly turned the flashlight off, plunging the room into darkness. He hopped off the table and made his way to the lightswitch. "I don't have any weapons, unless you want to steal my little brother. He has a habit of getting into... trouble, let's say."
"Your SIR?"
"My what? You're talking nonsense. Don't make me get the flashlight back out. Now tell me about your gun."
"I really don't understand what's going on here," Dib struggled again in his chair.
"I don't know why you keep trying to get out," Zim hopped back on the coffee table, sitting cross legged as to make eye contact with the stranger. "I'm particularly good at tying knots. Now, I answered your questions, you answer—" Zim stopped abruptly as a robot arm shot out of the man's back, freeing him from the rope with a red-hot laser beam. Once the stranger was free, the robot arm turned on Zim.
Zim screamed, scrambling to get up and off the table, Gir came barreling down the stairs in full force, tumbling over himself a couple of times on the way down. Seeing the weird robot arm tracking Zim as he ran around the room, Gir screeched and threw his stuffed pig at the stranger in the chair. The arm was knocked to the floor and Zim quickly regained his bearings.
"What the hell was that about!?" Zim had the bucket of water out of the sink in a split second, dangerously close to launching it at Dib. Gir obediently made his way to Zim's side, watching the altercation with vague curiosity. "You try to shoot me with a gun, then you try to laser me?! Talking about 'Tallest' and 'weaponry'?! I'm just a kid! I could get you arrested for this!"
Dib groaned, picking the arm up off the ground. Thankfully he'd gotten the scan before the SIR had knocked the arm out of his PAK. It would take hours to rewire it back in. But for now that didn't matter. Something was wrong with Zim and, for better or for worse, Dib would have to deal with it before his mission could continue.
"If I may, before you call the authorities," Dib fiddled with the holo-disguise unit on his wrist. One of his better inventions, to be sure. He turned the dial and his human facade melted away. "Please, Zim, hear me out." Dib extended a hand to the rogue invader. Maybe if he could appeal to the other Irken on a more personal level... He switched his language output from English to Irken, "Zim? I know we got off on the wro—"
Dib was interrupted by a blood curdling scream. His antennae pressed flat to the back of his head as Zim's pupils constricted. "What the HELL are you?!" Zim backed against the wall. Gir, for his part, seemed rather unfazed, although Zim had grabbed the SIR unit and held it close.
"I'm— what do you mean?!" Dib stood, and Zim cowered even further away like a braaghaschlatz caught in a trap. "I don't understand," Dib muttered, more to himself, "Why don't you understand?" he looked back up at the terrified Irken before him. What happened to the rogue, 'very dangerous' invader that he'd been warned about? And more importantly, why didn't he show even a shred of recognition towards his own species or technology?
YOU ARE READING
A Simple Guide to Overthrowing an Empire
Fanfiction"I don't understand," Dib muttered, more to himself, "Why don't you understand?" he looked back up at the terrified Irken before him. What happened to the rogue, 'very dangerous' invader that he'd been warned about? And more importantly, why didn't...
