Who's The One [COMPLETED]

It's Okay

"A lot has changed" said Meredith trying to avoid talking about her personal life.
"I can see that."
"What do you want to know about?"
"Everything."
"Ok. I'll tell you everything. I don't know where to start. Okay...
Amelia got married to Owen but they got divorced. Now she has a boyfriend. His name is Link."
"Link? What kind of name is that?" He said jokingly.
"His name is Atticus Lincoln but he prefers link." she explained "They have a baby together. His name is Scout Derek Shepherd Lincoln."
His eyes teared up as she said his name. His little sister became a mother and named her kid after him. He felt like a proud big brother. It was what he always wanted for Amy. Happy family. That's how he imagined her all those years while he was gone. Happiness was all he wanted for her after everything she's been through.
"We all live here. Me, Link and Amelia, Maggie, and the kids" added Meredith.
A tear rolled down his face as she mentioned the kids. It felt like a century he hasn't seen them. They were so little when he left. Now they're probably so big. And they might not remember their dad. He hated that thought. He was thinking about it every day. What if they don't even remember their father? What if they don't even know who he is? What will happen when they find out he's alive? How will they adapt to change? That were his thoughts.
Meredith on the other hand was trying to find the correct way to tell him about Ellis, their youngest daughter he knew nothing about.

"How are they? How are the kids?" Derek asked as he zoned back to reality.
"They're fine. But there's something you need to know." She felt her voice cracking.
"What is it?" Asked Derek shakily.
"When you... left... That day I found out that... That I was pregnant..."
"Her name is Ellis." she added after a minute.
He sat for minutes in silence, trying to adjust to reality.
"Derek, are you okay?"
"We had a baby?" he asked his voice shaking.
"Yes we did" she mumbled starting to cry with joy.
"We had a baby" he exclaimed pulling her in for a hug. She immediately pulled out and gave him serious look.
"What's wrong, Mer?"
"What isn't?"
"Mer..."
"Please don't. Stop trying to be nice and sweet and..." she wasn't able to finish her sentence as she started uncontrollably wailing.
"It's okay. Everything's okay. Whatever it is, we'll figure it out." he whispered in her ear pulling her into his embrace, trying to comfort her.
"I have a boyfriend" she murmured, praying for him not to hear it. But he did. He did and his world fell apart. He didn't expect her to be alone. He would never want her to be lonely for the rest of her life. If he was dead, he would want her to move on, to have a life. He would never blame her for that. But now, when he was very much alive, he wanted to die than hear her say those words again.
"It's okay." he said trying to hide his pain. "It's okay."
"No it's not" she sobbed in his chest "I have a boyfriend, and my dead husband is not dead anymore and... How are you going to explain to everyone that you're alive?"
"Just like I explained it to you."
"What about kids? They're little. Zola's so smart but how are we going to explain to them that you are alive? That all those years spent with grief and loss was for nothing? How are we going to do that?"
"I don't know" He answered honestly "I have no idea. "
"You're not helping!"
They both smiled.
It's been five years and the way they felt each other was still the same. He knew how much she missed him, or he thought so. No one could ever imagine how much she missed him. No one could ever possibly know how hard it was to be in love with a corpse. To know that you're going to spend the rest of your life loving a dead man. But only if she could imagine how much he missed her. Knowing all those years she was just a few hours away from him but wasn't able to be with her. He wasn't even able to talk to her, to touch her, to smell lavender in her hair. Those years were past. Now she was in his arms and even though she had a boyfriend, even though none of them knew what were they going to do about that, they both knew one thing very well, that they were never going to let each other go ever again. They needed each other to survive. Not physically, but emotionally. They were each other's support system. Even when they were apart, they were together. Their souls were knit together. So were their hearts.
She pulled out of his embrace again and looked him in his eyes. They were still piercing blue as she remembered. Those eyes and his perfect hair were what made her fall for him in the first place. Those blue eyes were her safe place. They were her home. She could spend the rest of her life looking at them and she would never be able to get enough of them. And his hair... Oh, his hair... His perfect, dark curls. She would give anything to be able to touch them, to run her fingers through his hair... His perfect hair.
He noticed the way she was looking at him and immediately felt the urge to kiss him but he knew it was incorrect. It was unfair to her so he decided to stop thinking about it.
"Tell me more about kids. They're probably so big now."
"They are" she answered smiling. "Zola is so smart and so strong and she keeps me on my toes, every minute of every day. She writes you letters in her journal. And she wants to be a neurosurgeon like you."

Derek's face lit up on the thought of that.

"And Bailey says funny before every sentence. Funny, I'd like an apple. Funny, I need pajamas. He's so cute. And Ellis, she's brave... And she's obsessed with hip hop. They are exhausting and amazing. And they're so, so beautiful."

A tear rolled down Derek's face as he imagined his kids running around the house. He missed out on their lives. He missed out on everything. And there was no getting it back. The only thing he could do move forward, find a way back into his kids and Merediths life and go on. He didn't know if he was strong enough, but he had to be. Mer has been the strong one all those years. Now it was his time to be strong and patient and understanding. He always has been her support system, and he was planning to go back to being one.

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