Pocket full of Proses.

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// G O L D E N //

"golden, golden, golden, as I open my eyes"

This time of the year fascinates me, things rarely do anymore.

I sat in my backyard today. Turns out nature is just like me, contradicting and repetitive. Outside, the breeze was warm but not too warm, cold but not too cold. There was a perfect balance, how can there ever be? Outside, the cycle of life and death was beautifully brought together by the shower of dead leaves and growth of new ones, together, on the same tree.

There is art everywhere if you're willing to see it. The scene outside was beautiful. It had colour! There was colour! There were shades of green, shades of blue, yellows and browns and the best is yet to come. The flowers haven't bloomed yet. There was music. The birds and the wind sang together in perfect harmony. There was even a sweet scent in the air, thank mango flowers. The excess of yellow almost feels unreal.

This time of the year hold many memories. This time of the year excited me greatly. This was the time of freshness and new growth. This was the time of a new session of school. This was the time of Holi and most importantly, this was the time of mangoes and ice creams.

"Hold it, focus, hoping
Take me back to the light
I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken"

There was an excitement that used to fill me up entirely. I excitedly anticipated for my then favorite festival, I anticipated for new books, new lessons, new memories and summer holidays. My friends and I loved this time of the year when it's neither too hot nor too cold and we could play outside all day long. Back then who knew we'd be torn apart unexpectedly, we were young and naive. Now that I look at I, I don't recognise us anymore. We don't look young, we don't look fresh, it's the opposite now really, we look old and depressed.

I reckon I never appreciated this time of the year so much. As a young child, I was too busy making memories without knowing it. When puberty hit me, I was too busy trying to figure out what just happened. Then one day life stopped! People were now locked inside their homes, people now had to wear physical masks too. It's then people opened their eyes, it's then they heard the voices that had been there all along but went unnoticed, it's then they smelled life rotting, it's then they tasted how insipid life had gotten, it's then people felt chills. It's then I too had my sense reawakened. I now saw what I'm surprised I never did. I now saw how beautiful life really is. I now appreciate this time of the year, finally.

"When it ends
Don't wanna let you know
I don't wanna be alone
But I, I can feel it take a hold I can feel you take control
(Of who I am and all I've ever known)
Loving you's the antidote"

How beautiful everything is. There is art everywhere if you're willing to see it. In the order and in the chaos, in the ups and in the downs, in the smiles and in the frowns, there's beauty everywhere if you're willing to see it. This day taught me the lesson that sometimes it's good to let go. Don't dwell on the past good memories, just try and let go. The present is beautiful too, give it a chance and allow it to glow. - Riya

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