Episode 5: The Chair of Everything that is True and Meh

6.5K 332 227
                                    

Peter: I love Mr. Stark, I really do, I admire him and look up to him. I'm just saying that when push comes to shove, I'll yeet Mr. Stark.
———

Peter, hugging Bucky's dettached metal arm: Sergeant Barnes is just the coolest, my favorite from the Howling Commandos. I'm a big fan, really. The reason why I have his metal arm right now.

Tony, connecting thru Friday's speakers: Kid wherever you are, give Bucky his arm back or so help me.

Peter: No.
———

Peter, holding Cap's shield: So, I stole the shield.

Peter: I would give it back but I'm having so much fun with it.
———

Peter: I had a perfect reason why I broke that coffee machine.

Peter: But in that moment of panic and anxiety, I told Mr. Stark that Mr. Barton made me do it.
———

Peter: Bold of Mr. Stark to assume that I have reach the peak of my stupidity.

Peter, while holding a frying pan: Fear not avengers, a true hero is coming.
———

Peter: Mr. Stark, confronted me about my bully, I denied everything of course. Told him that me as a socially awkward person cannot afford to have a bully, it would require too much interaction.

Peter: Now, he just gives me these awful encouragements.

Peter: It has been going on for a month now. It needs to stop.
———

Peter: I spent the whole day with Ms. Maximoff and Ms. Romanoff.

Peter, showing his Spider-man themed nails to the camera, doing the acrylic nail meme pose: I feel fabulous.
———

Peter: I was gonna believe Mr. Stark when he told me that he cared for me.

Peter: Then I remembered the time he used me as a human shield.
———

Peter: Ms. Romanoff told me she knows a hundred ways to kill someone with a teaspoon.

Peter: I never doubted her. That's why I never have tea with her anymore.
———

Peter: I was peacefully eating my cinnamon roll when Mr. Barton slapped my hand, thus resulting for my bread to drop, then he continuously shouted 'cannibalism' hysterically.
———

Peter, with a full make-up on: Ms. Maximoff wanted to practice her make-up skills.

Peter, doing the iconic Ironman pose: Here I am now, more beautiful, more powerful and more fabulous.
———

Peter: Captain Rogers, does not permit any form of swearing or cursing in the tower, especially from me.

Peter: It's the sh*tiest thing ever.
———

Peter: The Avengers have this crazy notion that I don't know what s*x is.

Peter: I want them to know that I understood every joke and reference they have made.
———

Peter: I was having some me time, took myself to a restaurant. They thought I was a kid.

Peter: I got an adult dish in half the price plus free dessert. I'm winning life.
———

Peter: Mr. Stark said I am one of the important people in his life.

Peter: We went out for grocery 3 hours later. He forgot about me, left me to fend for myself.
———

Peter: Redwing was missing. I told Sergeant Wilson that maybe Sergeant Barnes took him.

Redwing, appearing behind Peter.

Peter, cooing at Redwing: But you're not missing, aren't you Redwing.
———

Peter, while chewing some popcorn: The Avengers think that I have runaway.

Peter, watching security footages of the Avengers frantically searching for him: But I just like to keep them on their toes.
———

Peter: I was having the most awesome day.

Peter: Then Mr. Barton and Sergeant Wilson ruined it.
———

Peter: I am purposely hiding from my boss right now.

Peter: Ms. Potts just texted me that I am the best intern for Mr. Stark that she could've ever ask for. Little did she know.
———

Peter: I like to think of my self as a hybrid of all the houses in Hogwarts.

Peter: But my friends think that I am pure Hufflepuff. Like b*tch?! I look good in yellow though.
———

Peter: Positively, I would describe myself as a friendly, loyal and energetic—

Peter: I'm describing a dog, aren't I?
———

Peter: Don't tell any of the Avenger, but I'll choose Loki any day.
———

Peter, eating some churros: There's this nice lady I always run into whenever I take the subway to the Tower.

Peter: She always gives me this delicious churros.
———

Peter: School was great then I got detention.

Peter: When I arrived at the tower, I got detention again but this time it's live.
———

Peter: Sergeant Barnes, invited me to go camping with him.

Peter: It was awesome. We went hiking to get to the camping spot, then we went fishing. He thought me how to hunt. I told him all about astronomy.
———

Peter: I flew a jet today.

Peter: Colonel Rhodes said he was proud of me. Sergeant Wilson said if I got better he'll let me use his wings.
———

Peter: Ms. Potts have put her trust in me to make sure that Mr. Stark attends a the meeting on time, no matter what.

Peter: Now, there lies a sleeping Mr. Stark in the meeting room. Five minutes before the actual meeting starts.

Peter: It's a good thing Mr. Stark was wearing a suit when he fell asleep.
———

Peter: So, Sergeant Barnes found out some sh*t Cap did.

Peter: He was so calm while he talked to Cap about it infront of us.

Peter: It was way scarier compared to when he was the Winter Soldier.
———

Peter: Mr. Stark was so stressed about the accords that he was so tempted to start drinking again. I caught him staring at a bottle in his hands.

Peter: He was doing so great, Ms. Potts said he's been sober for 2 years now. So, as a concerned intern, I won't let it happen again.

Peter: So I told him, if he is gonna start drinking, I might as well join him.

Peter: I never seen someone yeet something so fast.
———

Peter: I always thought that hanging out with the Avengers will be so cool.

Peter: Then, I got to truly know them.
———

The Peter SeriesWhere stories live. Discover now