Lipstick

Chapter 12: Hypnotic Hazelnut

There are things I've never seen Josie do. Sides of her I didn't even know existed. The girl is pretty blunt and straightforward when she wants something. Being her friend didn't provide me access to the secret sides of her, but now that I am her love interest, I got to say she can be pretty cute sometimes.

After our pizza, we sort of just hung out and watched movies like we usually did. Well, there may have been a little more flirting and cuddling than usual. In the morning is when the surprises and secret sides of her began to make their appearance.

I was dead asleep in bed when I felt someone softly caressing my cheek and the smell of pancakes filled my lungs. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes in confusion to Josie smiling down at me.

"Morning," she said softly.

"What are you doing?" I grumbled and sat up.

"I made you breakfast and coffee." She said.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and turned to my bedside table where a food tray waited for me.

She chuckled which made me look at her again.

"I've always thought your grumpy morning face was so cute."

I felt my cheeks heat up.

"It's too early for flirting," I grumble and move to eat.

"It's never too early to show the person you love how much you care about them." She said before kissing me on the forehead.

Then she got up and walked out of the room saying, "I'm going to go wash the dishes." On her way out.

"Weird..." I grumble before eating my food.

Until then I didn't even know Josie had a softer sweeter side. It's kind of freaking me out. But at the same time, that was super cute. My heart turned all mushy. Ugh, this is so weird. It's hard to see Josie as anything but my best friend, but somehow, she's doing it. She's changing my perspective of her.

Before Josie kissed me I would have never in a million years looked at her the way I am looking at her now. But now that she has kissed me, now that everything is different, I see things differently. When she's near my heart beats faster. When her arms are around me I feel all warm and mushy inside. When she looks at me with those seafoam-colored eyes sometimes I forget how to breathe.

Oh no.

This is bad.

This is really bad.

I think I'm actually catching feelings for her.

Ugh!

No!

For the longest time, I used to feel those things only when I was thinking about Carson, but now I can't even think about Carson when Josie's in the same room as me. I feel different, awakened somehow to this other part of me I didn't even know existed until now.

Friends have always been off-limits. Friends, and friends significant others both past and present have always just been forbidden. I never thought about that rule twice. It was just the law of the land. Everyone knows never to catch feelings for close friends or it will just fuck everything up.

It will put a break in the group, especially if the relationship ends in disaster. Once you go there, you can never go back. What we had before is now completely gone and I don't know if I was ready for that, or if that's what I even wanted.

Gah! I just feel so confused and conflicted.

I've never caught feelings for a girl before.

It's lowkey freaking me out.