Liberosis - The Hunger Games

04

I find Finnick in one of the carriages further down the train, each person has a place for themselves with grand bedrooms, expensive clothing packed into the dressers and fully functional bathrooms. My best friend sits on the edge of his bed, twiddling his thumbs together and staring longingly out the window. I've seen the look in his eye before, the vibrant green of his eyes has turned to a dark colour, reflecting the upset he feels.

"Hey stranger," I say from the door, he doesn't look in my direction, he says nothing. But the silence speaks more than anything ever could, in some twisted way he finds himself guilty. "It's out of your control Finn, you don't have to feel guilty," I whisper, sitting beside him on the bed. The mattresses sunk down a few inches, taking me by surprise, I've never sat in something so soft before- other than the sand that lines the beach at the Cove.

"I never said I felt guilty," He turns to face me; I can tell he's been crying. It's an unusual sight to see from him, I haven't seen him cry in a long time. The last time I saw him cry was when he accidentally hit me during training at the age of ten, he felt so bad he bawled his eyes out in the boy's bathroom. I had to break the rules and run in after him to make sure he knew I was ok. Still, the guilt ate him up, we didn't train together for a whole month.

The guilt was eating him up again, "You didn't have to say anything, we're psychically linked, remember." I joked, trying to lighten the mood. Finnick let out a dry chuckle clasping his hand over mine, "Are you ok?" I ask him, stroking my thumb over the back of his hand comfortingly.

"I feel like I'm going to lose you again," He whispered, looking out the window again.

"You won't lose me, Finn, I'll always be here," I respond in a soft voice, cupping his cheek.

He places his hand over mine, letting another tear slip from his eyes, "Aurora If I lose you, I'll lose myself," Finnick explains desperately. I can hear the voice of a tortured man, a man who lost almost everything to the Capitol. A broken man whose mind can only be bent and stretched so far.

I don't know how to reply to his comment, losing me is nearly inevitable in the circumstances given, but I can't just tell my best friend to get over it if I die. No matter how much I want to tell him to forget me, to make the heartbreak easier on both of us by never speaking to him again, I know that if I want to get Thorn back home alive, I need Finnick to teach me from his experience.

The silence in the room is suffocating me, I want to comfort him, but telling him of my plans will only make him feel a hundred times worse. Instead, I pull him into a much-needed hug, wrapping my arms around his waist. He buries his head into the crook of my neck and for the first time today, I feel a sense of peace.

Our short moment is interrupted by a rapping on the doorframe, Mags stands in view as we pull away from our embrace. "Sorry for interrupting, it's time for lunch." She announced kindly. Finnick stands up and places a hand on her cheek and a kiss on the older woman's forehead, I smiled at the interaction before following the pair out of the carriage.

Thorn and Sylvia both sit waiting for us in the dining compartment, the Capitol woman making excited remarks and Thorn sits awkwardly toying with his fork. I sit beside my fellow tribute as Finnick sits across from me. In front of us sits plates of various meats I had never seen before. It's rare to find anything other than fish and the occasional poultry in District Four, I don't resist as Sylvia insists, I try the Lamb Stew.

It's a little rich for my liking, most of the foods I grew up eating were very light on in comparison, I wonder what my family's eating back at home, I wonder if they're eating at all. Andante promises to keep them strong for me, I can only pray he's strong enough to carry the responsibilities.