after my breakdown i decide i need to move on from the howard's, they're nothing but heartbreakers. two men walk into my room and escort me out to a limousine. one of the men is so cute, zoo wee mama. i think if i want to move on from howard i should maybe find someone new and this man is the perfect contender. they take me into the limousine and i decide to start talking to the hottie. "hey" i say. "hello." he says without even looking at me. why do men never look at me? "what's your name?" i ask him. "harold" he answers still not looking at me. wow, harold sounds a lot like howard, oh i miss howard. "where are we going harold" i ask. he finally looks at me, "we're taking you to your new home in sweden. " oh i love their swiss chess's" i tell harold. he looks at me with pure disgust on his face, "switzerland" he says. "what?" "swiss cheese is from switzerland you fucking bafoon" he says to me and then he kisses me. it's hot, sexy, and saucy! he breaks the kiss and holds my head very uncomfortably. "you may be a bafoon but your my bafoon." he says to me. "omg harold your so kind." i say to him. he kisses me again and then i realize someone is watching us. howard is on the ceiling of the limousine staring at us. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" what is happening? howard falls from the ceiling. "rachel who is this man?" he yells at me. "this is harold, howard!" i tell him. "WHY ARE U SMOOCHING THIS MAN? WHY WOULD U DO THIS TO ME RACHEL! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING! I LOVED YOU WITH EVERYTHING I HAD" howard says to me. "you love me? i love you too howard." i say and kiss howard, my howard.
