This is Real

How We See Ourselves

A/N: The following scenes are happening on different days (approximately 2-3 days apart) so everything really happens scattered through three weeks, taking off from the last chapter.

"Hi, Ian." Sasha was able to make her voice not annoyed. She thought it could be considered a feat. "What are you doing here?"

"I was hoping to catch you, actually. I, um..." He looked flustered for a little bit and it was the first time that he was around Shay and he wasn't giving the tall girl the evil eye. Ian seemed to fidget for a really long while because he looked entirely too uncomfortable, but it was really just a few seconds, before he reached into his pocket and handed Sasha a small pouch.

Shay watched Sasha hesitate, but Ian reached for her hand to press the small package into her hand. "Please accept it. Friends give each other gifts, right?"

"Ian-" Sasha looked entirely too reluctant and her eyes flickered to Shay for a second. It was the first time Sasha looked like she didn't want Shay anywhere near her. Shay wasn't sure why, but she was sure that it hurt like hell to have Sasha look at her like that.

Ian closed Sasha's fingers over the pouch, the cliche way you'd see guys do it in movies, Shay noted with no small amount of annoyance and jealousy. "We started out friends, right? We can start out like that again."

Sasha sighed, and was surprised that her instinctive comfort-seeking action that she needed to suppress was to move closer to Shay and reach for her hand. She felt she needed an anchor but she didn't know if she was allowed to reach for someone who didn't have anything to do with what was currently happening. She didn't know how it would look if she did that. She didn't know if Shay would be ok with it. Her arm had seemed to twitch sideward, but she let it fall to her side limply.

Her eyes flickered towards Shay again, and this time, Shay saw the struggle and the plea. But Shay knew her boundaries. This wasn't something she could simply butt into.

Sasha felt like the last few minutes were draining her. So instead of talking still she nodded, and she watched Ian smile widely before leaning in to press a kiss to her cheek and saying his goodbyes. Sasha ignored the burn that had felt more intrusive than usual. Her eyes once again flickered, for the third time, towards Shay, and she felt her heart drop because it was the first time Shay was deliberately looking away. She fought down the guilt as she watched Ian walk away.

"We should get back to work," Shay voiced out, still looking away from Sasha. She started walking and she didn't even check to see if Sasha was following. Shay walked faster than usual, and Sasha watched until they were a few feet apart before following, not sure what she had done, but also sure that she had done something. She kept her head down as she walked, only occasionally looking up to check that Shay was still in front of her. She needed to jog sometimes because Shay had longer legs and the tall girl was brisk walking.

It was when Shay was already more than ten feet away that Sasha stopped, and called out. It wasn't until her fourth call that Shay looked back at her, stopping her progress. Shay seemed to catch herself, and she actually backtracked so they were once again shoulder to shoulder, before they continued their way to the studio. It was quiet, and the tension was palpable, but they kept the silence, both too deep into their own thoughts to bring up the interaction with Sasha's ex.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You know, if you don't get a move on, this guy's gonna snatch your girl up."

Shay gave Ashley a dirty look before diverting her eyes to the clothes in front of her. They were shopping because retail therapy had always calmed Shay down and one look at her had Ashley insisting that they go out to release some of the tension that had Shay stiff and unable to focus the rest of the afternoon.