My Boyfriend | Yeonbin

Ten

It hurt.

He didn't know the sight of something could make you feel pain, his stomach turned, his chest burned, his eyes and his heart cried out.

And he ran.

Olivia called out to him but he didn't listen he went to a trash can and threw up, what was wrong with him?

Betrayal, anger, he had never had negative feelings towards Yeonjun in their five years of being together. Love is blind, love is deaf, love also makes you feel completely stupid. He felt stupid.

How could he let this happen and what did he do wrong? Did he mess up? Did he not show Yeonjun enough attention, or was it too much attention?

Was Soobin too clingy? He didn't mean to be, he was just so happy, so lucky to have someone like Yeonjun. To be with someone like him.

"Hey." Olivia rubbed his back as he cried, gripping the rim of the trash can hunched over, a mess.

He felt horrible.

"It's gonna be okay Soobin just breathe."

Such simple words for this difficult feeling.

They stayed this way for awhile before Soobin felt numb. He didn't deserve this, he had been nothing but good to him how could he?

"Let me walk you home." He said, his voice dry and low.

"What about you?"

He looked at her. "I just wanna get home Olivia, please go." She nodded and led the way, he followed a little behind her and when she got to her apartment she gave him a hug.

"I'm sorry." She whispered to him.

"Thank you for helping me." He pulled away from her and started his journey to his...home?

Was that place even home anymore?

How could he feel the same way after what he just saw? The walk back was long and when he did get back he laid on the couch not in bed.

Sleep came almost immediately.

...

Soobin didn't tell anyone, just Taehyun and his mom.

"I'm so sorry Soobin." His mother said.

He didn't want to hear that.

"I told you." Taehyun said.

He definitely didn't want to hear that either.

He wanted to be alone, he wanted to drown himself in his poisonous thoughts.

"Soobinnie!"

He froze and then two arms engulfed him in a hug. He knew that voice and that feeling better than any song.

"I tried waking you this morning but you wouldn't wake up." Yeonjun said now standing in front of him. "How long were you up? I told you not to wait."

"Sorry for the trouble." He walked around him and Yeonjun frowned and ran up next to him.

"It's fine you know." He went to take his hand but Soobin slid them into his pocket. "What's wrong?"

Soobin gave him a weak smile. "Nothing just a little under the weather."

Yeonjun touched his forehead. "You are a little warm."

Soobin stepped back. "I should get going."

"What about lunch?"

"Sorry I really have to study for class." He couldn't look him in the eye, he'd look at something else like his nose or forehead.

"Soobin!" They both turned and saw Olivia walking over. "Hey I brought us lunch so we can study."

Soobin smiled at her. "Thanks Liv."

Olivia gave Yeonjun a weak smile. "Hi."

"...hi." The tension was heavy in the hall.

She cleared her throat. "Anyways come on Soobin." Yeonjun noticed her hand touching his shoulder to get his attention.

"Right, bye Yeonjun." He turned and walked away leaving his boyfriend puzzled.

He didn't say I love you like he always did almost hundred times a day.

...

"I'm excited for you to hear the song we've been working hard on it." He hated the fact that Yeonjun's toothy smile still gave him those butterflies like when they first met.

"Can't wait to hear it." Soobin said before turning and going to stand in the crowd.

Everyone including Yeonjun stared in shock.

Soobin left without wishing him luck, without saying he loves him. No hug, no kiss, what was going on?

"Hey." It was Hyunjin. "Are you two okay?"

Yeonjun looked at him with sad smile. "Y-Yeah we're fine. Come on let's go."

"Good luck everyone!" Yeji cheered before going to stand with Soobin.

Yeonjun got on stage and went to his mic, he opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out, because front and center was Soobin but he wasn't alone.

He brought Olivia.

Soobin was laughing at something Olivia said, he watched as she leaned on him covering her mouth as she did so.

"Yeonjun." Changbin whispered.

He snapped out of it and cleared his throat.

"This song...w-was written for...for someone who...who..." Everyone was staring at him, Soobin gave him an unreadable look. A look that made Yeonjun shiver, who was that? Where was his Soobin?

"For someone who means a lot to me."

The best started before the group let out a raspy...

"I know I love you!"

Soobin watched him, the light in his eyes was a little dim. He didn't look as happy as he usually did.

"In this world of zero, I know you're my one and only
In this endless darkness like, Oh my god, so holy. From the tip of my fingers, everything runs far away.
My life before you was a mess, couldn't win one round of this chess oh we~"

The lyrics were beautiful and Soobin couldn't deny that he felt warm, he wanted to jump up and down reaching his hands out for Yeonjun but he couldn't bring himself to do that. Not after how bad Yeonjun hurt him.

"From this bottomless pit, you're the only (one) shining gold. Now I can't stop thinking 'bout you when I'm sinking alone. Angel who one day appeared to me, take me away to your hometown.
I know it's real, I can feel it!"

Yeonjun held his mic singing with all of his heart.

"I'm full of problems, love sick.
No way to go, I was fine to die.
I'm a loser in this game.
The only (one) rule of this world, save me, take my hand. Please use me like a drug.
I know I love you!"

Yeji and Olivia looked at Soobin, his eyes were down, looking at the floor. Why wasn't he looking at Yeonjun?

"Say you love me, say you love me, till the end of the world. All or nothing, I want all of you~
I know I love you!
Say you love me, say you love me, till the end of the world. All or nothing, I give all of you
I know I love you!"

Soobin wouldn't look at him for the rest of the song, because he knew Yeonjun would see his tears.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Now I sleep