FIFTY ONE

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Beomgyu and Taehyun came over to help go through Yeonjun's things. Soobin refused to get rid of it for months but after his therapist recommended he move out of the house for the millionth time he finally considered it.

He couldn't bare to go in their room as they sorted through Yeonjun's things.

"Yah, Soobin, come here!" Beomgyu called.

"No." He says packing things away in the living room.

"It's important." He ignored him. "...Daniel left you something!"

Soobin stood in the doorway looking at him.

"What does it say?" He asks.

"I didn't read it, not my business." He handed the notebook to him. "But it says it's for you."

Taehyun places his hand on the lower part of his back and guides him out the room to give Soobin space.

Soobin walks into the room and closes the door sitting down on the bed.

My Soobin,

As I'm writing this I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm going to die. I don't know how or when exactly but I know something is going to happen to me.

After finding out that my body isn't mine I did a lot of thinking. I said things to you that I shouldn't.

I've never been more sure in my life about this. About you. There's no doubt in my mind that I love you, but the world, the universe, doesn't seem to want that.

I want to say fuck it. Fuck everything, everyone, especially the universe because I'm never leaving I never want to, but I can feel it. It's undeniable that my end is coming faster than we both wanted, and I'm okay Soobin. And I want you to be too.

It's funny because I still remember the first day we saw each other. I wanted nothing to do with you and now I want everything to do with you.

I want your good and bad for however long we have together, I want it and I want you.

And if I'm right, if I'm gone right now as you're reading this then I can't ask you to move on because I wouldn't want to hear that if I were you.

I would want to hear that you are looking after me and making sure my dumbass doesn't do anything stupid.

So I'm telling you now, I'm always there even if I'm not, and I'm watching over you making sure the dumbass I fell in love with doesn't do anything stupid, so don't think of this as a good bye.

I'll meet you again in another lifetime and I'll love you all the same Choi Soobin.

Soobin swallowed the lump in his throat as his tears fell onto the pages. He laid back on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

Beomgyu and Taehyun waited outside the door and when he finally stepped out, eyes red and puffy, Beomgyu hugged him.

"Come on big guy, enough crying. Seeing you like this doesn't help me out of my time of mourning either." He steps back and smiles at him. "Can we finish?"

He nods. "Yeah, let's get finished. I gotta be out of here by next week."

Hyunjin and Ryujin stopped by to help move some of his things onto the trucks once everything was packed in boxes.

"I wanted to give this to you." Soobin says.

Hyunjin looks and sees its an old CD player.

"It's the first one he got, he kept it for years. Called it, his window to heaven."

"I-I can't take this."

"No one loved music more than you both did. Please, I know he'd want you to have it."

He takes it from him and smiles. "Thanks Soobin."

"...you didn't get to say goodbye to him properly and I think he distanced himself from you because he didn't want to hurt any more people than he already knew he would, but you know he loved you."

He nods. "I know. I hope he's alright, wherever he is. I know he's not hurting anymore."

"Yah, are the men gonna keep standing around while the lady does everything?" Ryujin calls.

"Let us know when the lady gets here." Hyunjin snaps earning a middle finger from Ryujin as she walks back inside to get another box.

"Come on, let's get back to work."

And hyunjin follows him.


















*・゜゚・*:.。..。.:*・'(*゚▽゚*)'・*:.。. .。.:*・゜゚・*

I'll double update since we're so so close to the end
😁

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