9. Hold Him Back

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Jake lied on his bed next to his phone, waiting for Jay to call him. He didn't want to but it had resorted to this decision.

He's been feeling empty and doesn't know what to do. He honestly missed Sunghoon a lot but it was very apparent to him that Sunghoon had obviously moved on.

Just then, his phone began ringing and he was quick to answer.

"Jake? Hello?" Jay's voice was slightly muffled on the other line.

"Hey Jay..."

Jake was never really one to actually talk about how he was feeling if he wasn't happy so it was sorta awkward to have this serious tone of voice.

"What did you need? Are you alright?"

A sigh came from Jake which was loud enough that Jay had heard. "It's Sunghoon, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me"

Jake was a bit hesitant but managed, slightly.

"I just, kinda miss him....I don't know. Maybe this is just one of the stages of a break up but I just REALLY miss him. Obviously he moved on and I would too if I were him. I was such a shit boyfriend and I feel so bad that I kept forgetting to tell him I was busy. I was just afraid that he would be mad at me for always being busy. I just-"

Jake stopped himself. He didn't wanna say too much. He wasn't sure if right now was a good time to talk about it or if he was even ready.

"Jake, like I said, communication is everything. Even if you aren't in a relationship, you need to be able to communicate and talk about things. I will agree that you sucked at not telling Sunghoon you weren't gonna be there but if you did have things going on, he should be understanding. I'm sure if you had told him he would've understood completely."

Jay was right, Sunghoon was a very understanding person, and that was one thing Jake loved about him. Now he wasn't sure why he couldn't tell Sunghoon anything.

"After we started getting closer with Sunghoon, Jungwon, and Sunoo, I've noticed how understanding they are. Unlike our friend group ya know? We tend to jump to conclusions but they don't. That's also why I'm able to be open with Jungwon. He's very understanding and I think that you were just afraid to open up and tell him. I know how you are. When something gets hard for you, you don't say a word."

Jake sighed. It was true. If something happened, he would just deal with it himself.

"Ok but what do I do about Sunghoon now? He's got a second date with that guy and we aren't on talking terms anymore." Jake was obviously frustrated and Jay could tell by his tone.

"In all honesty Jake, I have no idea." On the other line, Jay felt horrible that he couldn't help his friend out with his issues. It saddened him knowing how much Jake was hurting. At least, knowing what he knew right now.

Jake was conflicted. "I don't want to hold him back but I just.....want him back. He just seems so happy now and I don't wanna take that away."

"Do what you think is best." Jay didn't know what else to say. He wanted to see both of his friends happy and it sucked that one was starting to live again while the other was in sorrow.

Jake sighed in defeat. He loved Sunghoon too much to take away his happiness again. "Thanks Jay."

Jay smiled softly on the other line. "Anytime. You know you can talk to us if you need to."

"I know. I'll talk to you later then."

"Yup. Bye."

Jay hung up the phone and Jake turned around towards his ceiling and stared blankly. His eyes began to water slightly as thoughts of Sunghoon ran through his head. He really messed up on this one but there wasn't a way he could fix it. It was way too late.

He cursed at time for screwing him over, he cursed at his family for always pulling him away, and he cursed at himself for not taking initiative for anything.

A single tear ran down his temple and he swallowed the lump in his throat. If only he could've done things right with Sunghoon, he would be here right now in his arms.

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