16| philophobia

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Mateo

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Mateo

HAVE YOU EVER HAD THE feeling that you loved someone so much that it hurt? This is how I felt about Malaina, my heart skipping a beat at the sound of her name. I felt like a kid in kindergarten again, like I had just talked to the prettiest girl in the class. I didn't know how to deal with it, I'd never really felt that way before.

I loved everything about her, from the way her curls tickled my cheek when she was close, to the way her beautiful brown eyes looked up at me in adoration. I loved her childish smile and the way she somehow made me laugh. I loved how adventurous she was, but most of all, I loved how she brought out the best in me. She made me a better person.

I'd never been good at expressing my feelings because I never really loved my dad, and since I lost my brother Luca, I thought love wasn't real anymore. The world seemed like such a dark and lonely place. When I met Malaina, it felt like a spark of hope came back, illuminating the darkest parts of my life.

Sadly, our trip to Paris was coming to an end, meaning that we would have to face the reality we lived in back home. I had to make the last day count. I knew I had to tell her how I felt, even though I wasn't good at those kinds of things.

Luckily, the weather was nice, the skies blue and the air fresh and warm against my skin. Traffic was lighter that day, so we were able to get around a bit easier. After eating breakfast and spending a couple of hours at the Louvre Museum, we decided to split ways. Malaina had packed us a picnic, proudly swinging around the basket.

She insisted on coming with me, while Henry, Aisha, and Devonte went to the Aeroville Mall to finish up the last of their incessant shopping. Henry was dying to do some last-minute shopping at the Gucci store while Aisha wanted to get the latest Louboutin heels.

"We'll meet back at the hotel at seven. I'll text you our location before then," Henry reminded us, and I set a reminder on my phone. I saw Aisha nudge Malaina on the shoulder.

"Are you sure you don't want to come shopping with us? It'll be fun," Aisha told her, but Malaina shook her hea, staying persistent.

"I'm sure. You guys go ahead, we'll catch up with you later," she said, walking over to my side and giving me a knowing look.

"Have fun," Devonte called over his shoulder as they turned around to leave, "but not too much fun!" I rolled my eyes and Malaina's eyes widened. We exchanged a glance before I felt Malaina's hand snake down my arm and reach for mine. She tugged at it gently, seeming impatient.

"Come on, let's go. I really want to see that garden you were talking about. What's the name again?" Her petite nose scrunched up as she tried to remember. "You mean the Jardins du Trocadéro?" I suggested and Malaina snapped her finger.

"Yes, that's the one. Now come on," she pulled my hand, dragging me along with her. The feeling of her small hand in mine shouldn't have had any effect on me, but for some reason, I felt my cheeks heat up a little bit. I told myself it was only the sun, but I knew I was lying to myself.

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