naive or seduced

in the morning

I wake up and it's morning. The light is piercing my closed eyes. I can see the pink of my eyelids. Talk about a sunny day. I use my hand to block the sunlight. Sit up straight and open my eyes. I notice that I'm in a bed with nice gold silk sheets and a stranger next to me. Did I ? Could I really have done what I think? No way, that's impossible I would never. Would I ?

I stare at the man next to me with a tan muscular body still sleeping. Is it possible he drug me. What happened last night. I only remember kissing him and before that he was hovering over me trying to get me to kiss him. But everything before and after that. It's a total blur. But what's killing me the most is I don't even know his name or how I got here. How complicated. 

He turns over and rises slowly and yawns "Damn Maria, your a wild one" he smirks at me. While rubbing his hands on my side once again.

I push myself away from him. And pull my legs closer to my chest. I am in a hundred percent fear. I don't know what this man is truly capable of. Or how far he's willing to go. But at the same time you have to wonder what will piss him off. Cause it doesn't take much to know not to piss a guy like this off.

"that's right, you don't remember last night" he said to me taking his hand away from me and putting them behind his head and starting to stare at the ceiling.

I whisper "what did you do to me?" in fear of his answer.

"Nothing" he said.

I asked him "where am I?"

"your in my apartment isn't that obvious?"

I go "can I leave now?"

" you couldn't even if you wanted to."

I raised an eyebrow at him. What was that suppose to mean. Is he kind of holding me hostage. I don't understand at all. He makes my brain hurt. He confuses me.

" So are you hungry?" he questioned.

I nodded my head in response.

"I'll cook us something to eat. Do you like pancakes?"

I replied "yeah...i do."

He gave a small smile. And got up out of the bed and stood tall. Then out of nowhere he scooped me up out of the bed and he carried me out of the room and down the hallway. He then sat me down in wooden chair and walked away into the kitchen.

I look over things again. I'm sitting at a table just realizing I'm still fully clothed. And he still has his jeans on but his shirt is missing. I'm in a house with a man holding me hostage but still don't understand how I got here. I really need to know.

A plate suddenly appears in front of me with pancakes stacked sky high. He looked at me and smiled a sincere smile. He handed me a fork and knife. Then he started to pour syrup on the pancakes. He then left to his side of the small table leaving the small bottle of maple syrup behind.

I can't begin to fathom how a guy from last night somehow got me to do the most inconceivable things. Things I never thought would happen especially in a circumstance like that. But I'm happy I didn't wake up with any bruises or pain. Anyway all of a sudden he's playing Mr nice guy. What is this like some type of bribery to keep my mouth shut? Or some type of way to get me think he's not really a disgusting pig who raped me. But I leave those thoughts aside so I can eat. Because only god knows when he'll feed me again.

He looks across the table and says "If you have any questions I'll answer them."

"I don't have any questions. I Just want to know your name."

he bites into a pancake "my name is Jason."

"well that's all I had to ask you, Jason."

Saying his name felt weird and I didn't understand why it just did. It didn't feel good or bad, just strange. Like this entire situation. Awkward and a lot of silence on my end. But he just seemed like a go with a flow type of guy.

"Jason" I begin "tell me, did we have sex last night?"

"I thought you said you didn't have any questions" he laughed.

"i thought you said you'd answer any question I had."

"your a smart girl" he smiled " But I'm still not answering"

I get up and walk away from the table and see what looks like would be the front door but instead of even seeing if it was. I ignore it for some odd reason and keep walking back to our room. Back to the golden silk sheets. And miss what could possibly be my only chance to escape.

When I walk in the room I notice the wall across from me covered in dark blue long curtains that stop just before they hit the floor. I slowly approach the curtains like I'm in a horror film. Not sure I want to know what's on the other side. I hesitate. I reach out and I rip the curtains away from each other and I look away from the blinding light I wait for my eyes to adjust and I look to see a balcony. I open the sliding glass doors. And step out.

"it's quite windy" I say to myself.

My hair blows softly in the wind. I put my arms on the black railing and stare out into the city with more or less ocean view. It's strange to think or say. But this is a nice place to be trapped in...so far. It's calm and peaceful. As I think this  I feel body heat being radiated on me. I freeze in fear. I'm stiff as a billboard. What if this turns into one of those scenes in the movie where the psycho guy holds her over the edge until she promises to never leave him and to always love him.

But it doesn't happen. Instead he does the complete opposite. He wraps his arms around my waist. And places his chin in the crevice of my neck. And smiles.

He says with a smooth silky voice "i see you found the balcony."

"I did" I say casually.

The wind blows again violently this time. For some reason butterflies flutter in my stomach. Then I notice Jason is causing the butterflies. He kissing my neck so soft and slowly it's barely noticeable. He's so romantic...what am I saying?! Why am I even letting him touch me or get so close. But for some odd reason I don't react.

After he kisses me on the neck a third time he stops and whispers "why don't you come back to bed with me?"

"I'm not really in the mood for that sort of thing."

he laughed with a grin on his face "i meant to watch Netflix or something."

"oh, sure. If that's your only intentions."

Jason looks at me and says seriously "I swear that's my only intention."

"okay. I'll 'come to bed with you'." I say jokingly.

What was I making jokes around Jason for I have no idea. I was in no position to be making jokes. Especially since he's my rapist and kidnapper for that matter. But I guess it's OK. Again he seems happy which means he won't hurt me, for the time being anyway.

He sets everything up by the time I step back into the room. He asks me what I want to watch and honestly I don't know what to watch. But he puts on some movie for us to watch. We both climb into bed. I sit firm against his side. Not because he has his arm around me and is holding me there. More because of it feels so natural. Not to mention warm cause he still isn't wearing a shirt.

I place my head on his chest. Listening to his heart beat. Taking in everything around me. Everything so...relaxed. I get lost in my thoughts. But I soon am called out of them.

"see I'm not such a bad person."

"you've got to be kidding right?"

"come on I made you breakfast and everything."

"So I'm suppose to automatically trust you" I say giving him a are you kidding look.

"well what would I have to do to for you to trust me?"

"you can let me go and stop holding me hostage" I stated.

"not gonna happen. Plus where would you go."

I hadn't even considered where to. Just getting out of here. I don't even know where I am. I haven't even been out of the building. Looking out from the balcony I didn't notice anything like a landmark. For all I know I'm in another town, city, or state. Oh lord. What's going to happen to me.

"Well just don't have sex with me."

He smiled.