naive or seduced

to do or not to do, that is the question

chapter 7

We got home safe and sound. Well after that conversation with Lila I'm not sure I'm all that safe. But I will be...i hope. As we walk Jason takes his coat off. He seems to be a bit exhausted and also a bit angry. He's definitely conflicted. Which is probably good for me. Maybe it means I wont have to ... No I have to do it. Just in case. I don't want to end up like Lila.

While Jason stares at the floor stressed. I change into, lets just say less clothes. Nothing sexy. Just like a little cami. When I come back he's still there looking like he's ready to explode. Almost like he wants to throw something at a wall. A bomb ready to go off at any second. I better hurry. I climb onto the bed. I really hope I can do this right because I've never done this before. This taking initiative thing. I've seen a bit on TV but I usually turn the channel from what I recall.

I'm on the bed sitting on my knees. His face in his his hands. Well I guess there's no point in me waiting for him to look up. So I poke my head down and look up so he can see me. He begins to look up

"huh" he says.

He's only focused on my face. I decide to pull him closer by his tie. And kiss him. Nice, soft, slow, and gentle. Just one good time. He takes it all in. Not trying to take control. Not moving. Just enjoying it and savoring it. I can feel it. He doesn't have to say anything. I can also tell he's taken back by whats happening. And the stress from before is still swirling in his brain a little. But I need to change that.

I push him back onto the bed. Which I'm not gonna lie it took a little bit of strength. I crawled on top of him. Starting to unbutton his shirt. Exposing those washboard abs of his. I rub my hands on his abs and start making my way up to his chest. Then slightly over the tips of his broad shoulders. Our eyes meet.

He says to me "damn, you know how to make a man feel good."

I whisper as I slide my hands toward his neck "shhh" I lean in next to his ear and smile "don't talk."

I kiss him, our eyes closed. I'm not even thinking about what or why I'm doing this. I'm just doing it. It's like it's out of my hands. Everything is just happening. And I don't have to try. I just have to go with it. We keep kissing long and slow as if we have all the time in the world. Which we kinda do because we got home around midnight. Whose gonna call at this hour. I take his hand and put it on my lower back. So gentle. He rubs his hand slowly up and down. God, nothing can be better than this kiss right here. We continue kissing, but then it changed. I decided this time I would slip my tongue into his mouth. It was easier than I'd thought it'd be. I guess it just can't be a proper kiss without tongue. He invited me in. There was just no stopping now. Everything was passionate but gentle.

I don't know how but we slowly started to lean. But before that happened Jason slowly started to sit up without breaking our kiss. And I wrapped my legs around him. I wrapped my arms around his neck. His hand still where I left it. He pulled me closer. Cause in this moment we just couldn't get close enough. So he would hold me tighter. And squeeze me quickly. In return I would kiss him harder and more passionately than before.

Prior to this moment I didn't even notice the motion we were making. Or should I say I was making. We had started making this push and pull type motion in a way I guess. I couldn't believe this whole time we hadn't taken a single breath. I really need to catch my breath too. But it's just so hard to stop. Since I was already making the pull motion. I decided to pull up instead. I pushed my breast up against his chest until I was a little taller. then I broke away from the kiss. And I let out a small sigh of exhaustion. It actually did sound kind of sexual.

He said also catching his breath "please, don't stop now."

So I went in to kiss him again. Without even thinking about it. He squeezed my ass. And I don't know why I thought it'd be uncomfortable before. But with him. When he does it. It makes me smile. I couldn't tell if it had been minutes or hours. All I knew was that time was passing.

We started making out aggressively. So aggressively that the bed was bouncing a little. And before we knew it. The remote bounced off the bed and hit the floor. Turning the tv on to the news. Way to ruin the moment.

"come on just ignore it" he said quickly turning the TV back off.

"i can't. I just. I can't"

"please"

"no, i'm sorry" I say.

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. And looks me in the eye.

"okay, let's just get some sleep" he said reluctantly but smiling anyway. Then kissed me on the forehead.