Lost Memories (Boschlow & Lumity)

Chances

Again she stood in the distance. Just out of hearing range. But Boscha didn't need to hear. She could see.

She watched Luz and Amity embrace in a hug. Like always. Lately though, since their courting, their hugs have been lingering a lot longer. The triclops noticed how they would both bury their faces in the other's hair, breathing in each other's scents.

The sight was sweet, romantic. It made Boscha ache. Titan, the omega wished she had something like them. Someone who cared for them. But no one cared for Boscha.

Boscha was broken. Something was wrong with her. Something was terribly, terribly wrong with her. The omega was toxic. She knew it. She was horrible. Vile. Downright repulsive at times.

But.. That was all the omega knew. That was her entire life. From the moment she could understand words, her parents were filling her head with awful, self-important toxic ideas.

Do whatever is necessary to get what you want. No matter who you hurt. If they are weak enough to be stepped on, crush them. Take what you want. You deserve it.

Now though.. Boscha knew better. She didn't deserve anything. She wasn't better than anyone else. If anything she was worse. A lot worse.

Watching as Amity laughed so genuinely with Willow and Gus almost hurt. Amity never laughed like that with Boscha. Being genuine wasn't something that anyone that Boscha had hung around with did. Everyone was fake. Including herself.

But Amity was so happy. Really happy. Happy with the human she was courting, happy with her real friends.

Boscha had to look away. Titan, she desperately wanted that happiness too. But deep down the omega knew it couldn't be. She didn't deserve that happiness. Not after all the awful things she did.

No, the triclops deserved to be alone. She deserved to suffer. After all the people she hurt, wasn't it fair she hurt too?

So Boscha pulled away and isolated herself. She just couldn't be nice. So it was best for everyone if she just stayed as far away as possible. If she was alone she couldn't hurt anyone.

But going from being the center of attention to having absolutely no one drove Boscha insane. She spiraled out of control, collapsing in on herself.

During her breakdowns, she would rage out of control destroying many of her own things.

She needed to be alone. She was a monster.

Willow stood off to the side of the group, every now and then glancing up to look at Boscha from across the hall. The omega had been watching them for a few months now. Every day Boscha would just watch them all interact. The sadness plain on her face.

Willow couldn't help but feel a bit bad for her old bully. Which was an odd feeling. Boscha had been so awful to the alpha for so long. Willow should take pleasure in seeing her suffer but... She just.. Didn't.

Boscha was, by all means, a bad guy. A bully. But then again, so had been Amity and even Skara, but now they were great. Could Boscha be the same? Was there anything good still inside her? Seeing the constant pain in the omega's eyes made Willow think that, at the very least, Boscha had some deep regrets.

Maybe they should give Boscha a chance, maybe she could change. Willow was already moving towards the omega before she was even aware of it.

The triclops had sat down against the wall, focused solely on her scroll. Willow stepped up, causing Boscha to snap her eyes up.

"Oh, it's halfa- err, I mean.. Willow... What do you.. Want?" Boscha started hotly, but caught herself and managed to pull back.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to join us?" Willow said, trying to sound neutral.

Boscha raised an eyebrow, sneering, "Really? I don't think your human is going to agree with that."

"Luz doesn't make the rules, it will be fine," Willow said as calmly as she could.

"Ah, so Amity is the boss of your little group. I see." Boscha snickered out.

"No. There is no boss. We are all equals." The alpha said firmly.

Boscha looked away silently, seeming to reflect on what the alpha had said. For a few moments, they sat in awkward silence.

"Look, as long as you are nice, Luz will behave. I'll make sure of it." Willow said with a sigh.

Boscha shook her head and let out a dark, emotionless laugh, dropping her head. "See. I don't think I can be nice. I'm fucked, Willow. I'm not worth the effort. I was so awful..."

"Boscha.. I-I think.. You could change. Sure you were bad, but look at Amity, she was bad too. But now she is so nice and happy. You could have that too." Willow shakily responded, unsure why she felt such a strong need to help Boscha.

The omega looked up at Willow, her eyes watering slightly. "Do you really think.. I could.. Change? Is there really any good left in me?"

Boscha really doubted that.

"I think that's really up to you. No one is gonna make the change for you Boscha. You have to work for it. And I know it will be hard but... If you are willing to try and be better, then I'm willing to try and help you." Willow reached her hand down for Boscha to pull herself up.

Boscha cautiously took Willows outstretched hand and pulled herself to her feet.

"Now come on, I promise I'll keep Luz under control." Willow turned back towards the group with a laugh.

Boscha stood for a few moments, watching as Willow walked away. A strange warmth and lightness filling her chest.

Maybe Willow was right. Maybe she could change. Maybe there was some good still left in her. Maybe she could do better.

Boscha wanted to do better.

It wouldn't be easy. But Boscha was determined to be better, no matter what she had to do.