Philophobia || Dreamnotfound

21

George's POV

George didn't understand.

Clay had just pushed him away for the first time. It was heart wrenching, a feeling that George dreaded.

George walked away from Clay, his steps rushing and his mind racing. As soon as he turned the corner, his shoulders sagged and he leaned against the wall, covering his mouth with his hand. Tears welled in his eyes and he took in a shaky breath.

Now he knew what it felt like, to be the one pushed away. Was this what he did to Clay? Did Clay feel like this? George's eyes blurred and he shoved himself off the wall, needing to get away from the castle, from Clay.

Overpowering his confusion and despair was anger. He couldn't help but feel anger towards Clay.

Clay said they would go through what they had together, but he just pushed George away. He barely even tried to tell him what was happening.

George had caught a fragment of a conversation before he was ushered away by a servant, 'I don't like him, let alone love him'. Was Clay lying? He had sounded so believable and that was enough for George to jump ahead and take it that way.

"Of course he doesn't love me," George muttered, "I don't even know if I love him."

Do I? Do I love him? George had felt as though he was leaning towards yes, but it didn't matter now. Clay didn't love him. He acted like he did, right? George had no idea, he didn't know what love was.

George's anger faded as he cleared his thoughts, heading out of the castle and into the city, even though it wasn't allowed. He wiped at his dry cheeks, not a tear shed. He should've seen this coming. I knew love was dangerous, it was bound to happen.

He was going to give Clay time, like he had said. Time for Clay to approach him when he was ready, when he wanted to tell George what was going on. George figured that Clay would talk to him within a few days, sometime before the seventh event, the last event.

George's feet led him to the harbor. He tilted his head away from the docks, not wanting to be reminded of what happened on the boat, what they had shared there.

And that, that was what made George tear up again. Was it pointless? Did he tell Clay everything for nothing? Or was it for something... heartbreak. Just like in all of the books he had read, love ends in heartbreak.

George sniffed, wiping at a tear and continued walking past the docks, past the busy rush of people who paid him no mind. He walked and walked, tears falling and hands fisting. His feet stopped, exhausted, and he sat down in the sand.

Sand crept into his pants and boots, but George ignored it. He sobbed as tears fell, his chest squeezing. It was an unexpected feeling, a physical pain that accompanied what he was feeling. His heart ached and his hands trembled as he set his head in them.

Thoughts ran rampant through his mind. I should've known this was coming. Why did he push me away? Did I do something wrong? Do I deserve this?

"Oh teach me how I should forget to think," he muttered through a sob.

A quote that was only fitting in his situation. George laughed bitterly through his sobs, "Romeo and Juliet..."

Clay's favorite. Did Clay give him the book as a warning? That they wouldn't end up together? Was this all a game to him?

Games are fun, the voice crooned, present even with the salty air.

"Shut up," George hissed, using his sleeves to dry his face.

It's my turn now. Time for me to play a game. Yes, let's take everything from him. He deserves it, after what he did to you.