What Is Love? || KTH x BTS

▷ 22 ◁

Sitting in front of the person that had left them wasn't exactly the ideal situation that they were aiming for as a reunion, yet here they are. Not knowing what to think and to feel about the situation, they silently sat with their emotions all over the place.

They wanted to be furious at him, demand an answer as to why he would do such a cruel thing to them after all that they had gone through. Lash their anger at him, blaming him for all the things that he did. Give him a good punch even though they know that they wouldn't be able to do that to him.

Yet, even with the seething heat of anger. There is an undeniable sadness lingering within as they reminisce the memories that they have spent, both in the past and the present. It made felt as if they have been played around, dragged into his plans, and be forgotten who they once were in his life.

But, they also wanted to rejoice in knowing that he's alive, that the person that they have fallen in love with is here and has always been there. They want to jump around, pull him in a hug and maybe get to finally kiss him to show how much they love him. Showering him with love and affection, something that they had not done as much.

They couldn't show off what they truly feel at the moment, the tears that had escaped from their eyes down to their cheeks are unknown whether it be from sadness, anger, or happiness. It breaks Taehyung's heart to see them like this.

"I... You were right." His whisper broke the silence between them. "I chose to forget. You're right." He casts his gaze down on the ground, shamefully basking in the hatred and horrible memories that haunt him to this day.

Jimin opened his mouth as if wanting to tell so many things yet he could only utter the question, "Why?" His voice broke, painfully trying to stop himself from breaking down in front of them and him.

Taehyung took a deep breath, "It was... When..." He pushed his hand to his face, unable to find the right words to start his explanation. There was too much yet too little that he wanted to say, it was strangling him to tell them, to finally let them have what they truly deserve.

"Don't push yourself..." He lifted his eyes, staring back at Namjoon who fondly gave him a smile, comforting him. "Take your time to explain, we'll be here."

We'll be here, waiting for you even of how long it may take. It was an unspoken line that only them could understand, that only they could feel. He closed his eyes and let his own tears fall. "I wanted to change from the 'V' that everyone knew of." He started, "When I revealed myself to all of you, I was hesitant. I didn't want anyone to remember that I exist, that these hands killed several people including my friends and my... my father." Taehyung couldn't look at them as he stares down at his lap.

"I wanted to change so bad that the only solution at that time was... to forget and by wanting to forget... I..." The tears blurred his vision, "The guilt and regret after what I had done was too much to handle and... I thought that if I somehow traumatize myself enough... I would be able to forget somehow... It did, it did work and I could only remember glimpses and it hurts my head whenever I try to remember but I couldn't keep running away." Seokjin stood up from his seat, kneeling in front of Taehyung, and took his hands to hold them in his.

He shook his head, "I never planned to kill myself at that time."

"Can I, can I ask a question?" Taehyung nodded, " I know this may be insensitive but what if you..." didn't make it?

Taehyung continued the question, "If I didn't make it?" A bitter smile played on his lips, "When I stood on that platform, I thought that dying would be a much easier escape too. So, I took the chance. It was between those two and I choose both, I didn't care because I don't deserve to live after all that... that I had done."