Too far gone to pray

Chapter thirteen

⚠️ mentions of self harm and a panic attack.

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Louis' POV (At football practice)

Harry has been driving him crazy all day long. He has been doing a good job hiding from Harry, but he knew that Harry was looking for him. Hiding wasn't easy, but he had to do it. His father said one more slip up and he goes away again. He didn't want to be sent away, he hated being sent away. Especially because this time would be worse, this time it would stick. So, he just needed to hide and focus on the important things.

He got to practice early so he could run more, and also that he could avoid Harry as long as he could. He ran faster than he ever had before today. He ran from all his problems. This only caused him to be angrier than before. He felt like a whirlwind of emotions.

He had been pushing himself really hard during practice. Like his father said he needed to be working harder. He took this as working harder in all aspects. He decided to focus on football. If football occupied his mind, then sinful thoughts couldn't. he also was angry about the whole situation. He wished that he was just normal and didn't have these dreadfully awful thoughts.

He just felt so angry about everything. He felt angry about his feelings and his father. He was just tired of it all. When he kicked the football he wasn't thinking of anything but his anger. He kicked the ball harder than he meant to, causing the ball to ricochet off of the top of the goal post and bit him in the face. The ball hit him in the nose, and he swore he heard his nose crack.

He fell backwards as the ball made contact with his face, causing his head to hit and bounce off the ground. He could fell that blood was about to start trickiling out of his nose. He sat up as Coach rushed over to him. Coach told him not to get up, but he didn't listen to him. He go up shakily, the world felt like it was spinning.

The team started to surround him to see what was wrong. Harry moved to help him up, but he pushed him away. He didn't want help, and he especially didn't want Harry's help. He needed to get through everything alone. He hates help, help means being sent away. Help means being vulnerable, and he cannot be vulnerable any longer.

"I'm just trying to help" Harry said.

"I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's help" he yelled angrily before storming off the field holding his nose, which was now bleeding heavily.

He never yelled, it brought too much attention to him. But today was just too much for him. He felt like a damn that was about to break at any minute.

Instead of going to the nurses office, he went to the locker room to grab his stuff so that he could leave. He was grabbing his bag when he heard the locker room door open. He turned around and saw harry staring back at him worriedly.

"Oh my God your nose" Harry said worriedly.

"I'm fine" he responded fifth a slight twinge if anger in his voice.

"You're bleeding, you are not fine" Harry said.

"I'm fine, bye" he said going towards the door.

"Where are you going" Harry asked.

"Home" he said simply.

"You are bleeding and your nose could be broken" Harry said blocking the door.

"Harry move, I'm going home" he said annoyed.

"No, you are going to the nurses office and I am taking you" Harry said.