Indecent Proposal

Chapter 4: Face the Day

You open your eyes and lay in bed for a few seconds staring at the unfamiliar ceiling above you. The events of the night before play through your head: Eric making an ass of himself at the party, your fight, you showing up at Hotch's door. The pain comes rushing back as well. Your face is throbbing and your shoulder feels like it's on fire.

How did I let it get this bad? I ignored every red flag. I know better than this.

You blink back tears and will yourself to get out of bed but your body doesn't respond. You don't want to get up. Getting up means facing Hotch. Getting up means figuring out a plan to deal with Eric and you just don't have the energy.

There's a soft knock on the door and when you don't respond Aaron pokes his head in, looking alarmed, then relieved.

You quickly wipe your eyes. "Yes?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, sweetheart. Just wanted to see if you're hungry. Or there's fresh coffee if you'd like."

"I need to get ready for work. You're gonna be late, too."

He hesitates. "Actually, I called in. For both of us."

You lift your head. "You did? You didn't tell anybody-"

"You know, it's the strangest thing. You called me saying you were sick and I'm not feeling great myself. Hopefully, we didn't pass it on to anyone at the party and it's just a stomach bug. Best to take the day off and rest up, don't you think?" He smiles softly.

He lied for you.

"Thank you. I couldn't bear it if anyone else knew." You respond gratefully.

"Can I ask you a question, Y/N?"

"After everything you've done for me Hotch you can ask me anything."

"Why did you come to me last night? You could have gone to Emily or Penelope or Spencer even."

Oh no. Did I make a mistake coming here? I did. I know he's stressed and has a full plate. He's so overworked and I just piled my personal life on top of it.

He senses your embarrassment and quickly corrects himself. "I know we aren't close friends Y/N, but you can always come to me, about anything. I'll always be here to help you if I can."

"Honestly Hotch, I came to you because you understand this lifestyle. I don't know how to explain to the others what Eric and I are and why what happens between us is...okay."

He steps further into the room, looking appalled. "Why it's okay if he hurts you? Y/N, it's not okay at all."

What is he talking about? Doms punish subs all the time, it's normal.

"I embarrassed my dom. I didn't obey him. He has a right to punish me when I don't do as he commands." You recite, hearing Eric's voice, but you also can't stop the little voice protesting from the back of your mind. Even you know you're full of shit right now.

Aaron shakes his head. "Y/N, I don't know what he told you, but a dominant does not have the right to beat his submissive this way. Punishment is to be discussed beforehand and agreed upon by both partners."

Stop. I don't want to think about this. "But he said-"

"Did he ask you about your limits? You told me before that he hadn't. Was there a safe word for you to use?"

Please, don't force me to admit the truth. It hurts too much. "Eric said real doms and subs don't use safewords. They trust each other completely so there's no need for them."