Ivy

Chapter 8

Ivy's POV

I awoke gasping for breath after yet another nightmare. Checking the time, I saw it had just past half 3. I lay back down on the floor, trying to get my breathing back under control.

After 20 minuets I was finally calm enough to get up. I knew trying to get back to sleep was pointless. The best thing I could do is go out and enjoy the feeling of freedom while I still have the chance.

I find a towel and my tolietries and head to the bathroom and get in the shower. The water is freezing and I jump back with a yelp. That'll teach me, note to self, let the water heat up before getting in. Oh well, I'm definetly awake now. Brian is kind enough to buy me a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo once every month.

Drying myself off with my scratchy towel, I look at myself in the mirror. My front is covered in bruises and there are a few scars here and there, my back though, is covered in scars of various sizes, just thinking about the state of my back makes me want to cry. Between my foster mother and her whips and what those girls did. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to shake the thoughts away. Feeling my throat tighten and my eyes sting with the tears I'm holding back. I don't want them to have the power to make me cry when they are not even here.

I stare at my reflection in the mirror,

''Okay Ivy, pity party is over. You are a strong and beautiful woman''

I try to hold back my scoff, if I say it enough one day I'll believe it. After being told repeatedly for years how worthless and ugly I am, as much as I try not to listen, but that has been getting harder and harder. Will anyone every be able to look past all my flaws and scars and really, truely love me? Do I deserve love?

''Of course, you do, stupid!''

That's right, I do. I just need to hold on and pray I can be brave enough to accept it. But I know the fear I have is going to cause me problems. I hope that my prince charming will think me worth the effort.

I give myself I couple of light slaps to my cheeks to snap myself out of my thoughts and head to my box to look for clothes. I fold the clothes I had taken off and place them on the bathroom counter, knowing I'll have to put them back on tonight before my parents get here.

Once I'm dressed, I grab my book and head downstairs. I go straight to the kitchen and get myself a glass of water before heading out the back door. I sit on the grass and open my book and begin reading.

By the time I look up from my book the sun has risen and the sky is beautiful with just a few clouds breaking up the endless blue. I decide to head back in to check the time and get another glass of water, the liquid helping to trick my stomach into thinking I'm not hungry. It doesn't completly help, but it takes the edge off.

I dry the glass I used and put it back where I found it and head back upstairs to my room. I fold up my blanket and put it back in my box along with my toiletries. After making sure everything is away I head back outside, going to explore the woods again.

I decide just to walk around. Getting a proper feel for the woods and making a mental map whilst the sun is up. After a while I start to think about the nice man from last night, Ben.

I head in the direction of the diner. My plan is to observe him, to see if he is as nice as he seems, or if he was trying to trick me. I mentally slap myself, I really should have more faith in people. I didn't get any bad vibes from him and he really did seem to just want to help.

I grab my hair in my fists and pull slightly, the sting helping to clear my thoughts a little.

''Okay, Ivy. Not everyone is the enemy. Right? Right.''