obliterate | jisung

04

Streaks of light from the morning sun entered the room through the openings of the roughly drawn blinds, casting a bright glow on the sleeping boy as if an angel shining brightly with a halo above his head.

The morning sun wasn't what woke him up though, nor was it his body alarm, instead it was the frantic boy that slammed open his door and ran into the room, pouncing right on his bed.

" Jisung, sung, ji, bestie, ji ji zha zha! Wake up...wake up! I found something," Chenle screamed with his dolphin-like voice. Jisung cringed at the nicknames he gave, eyes half closed as he forced himself to sit up.

" What?" his raspy morning voice sounded, disoriented as he looked at the anxious boy. Chenle immediately passed him a stack of papers making him groan. " Paperwork first thing in the morning, great."

" Everything that was included in the substance was basically expected except for some but the last part..." the boy trailed off, watching as Jisung flipped through the papers in his hand.

Jisung's eyes narrowed as he looked at the last few words on the last page, the clearly bolded ones that were practically screaming "notice me!"

" Un...known substance found," he mumbled. Furrowing his eyebrows, the boy looked back up at the latter with a cold gaze. " Does anyone else know about this?" he questioned, tone strict as if this was a serious matter - well, maybe it was.

" No."
" Good, inform the dreamies about this and no one else."

" Wait but why? How about Taeyong?" Chenle inquired, confused as to why he didn't want to tell their leader, who should be the most trusted person among them all. " He is our leader after all."

Jisung could only scoff, rolling his eyes at his words. He was wide awake by now, the sleepiness he felt disappearing. The boy could only stand up, brushing past Chenle before walking towards his door. He paused right before leaving, turning his body around slightly to face the boy that sat on his bed.

" Just do as you're told."

✗

The group of six stood around the hospital bed where Haewon laid, the gleam from the sun seamlessly glistening down on the girl paired together with the chirping of the birds.

The silence that encased the room wasn't awkward nor comforting, rather a tense one. Each one of them stood still as if soldiers deployed on duty, ready to do as asked from their superior.

" Should we just inject it?" Chenle asked, breaking the silence.

" I think we should, I mean in the end it would be either us or them who injects it anyways," Jaemin voices out, giving a nonchalant shrug.

" Yeah, and if she does wake up we would be the first to know," Jeno stated, eyes trailing from Haewon to the stiff boy. " And besides, we would be able to make sure that they wouldn't be doing anything else to her anyways," he finished.

The rest nodded in agreement, it seemed valid enough. Yet, Jisung only stayed quiet, staring at the girl that he had grown to love since young. Deep in thought, he felt torned between the options he had.

Half of him wanted to make sure that she was safe and that he didn't have to worry about her. Yet his heart was heavy with guilt, he didn't deserve to look her in the eye again after what he had done to her, the misery and pain he had caused.

It was like a trauma, a nightmare that he couldn't get out of. It was a more unique kind though, it haunted both his dreams and nightmares, a recurring torment. Every time he saw her, he felt like there was something grabbing at his heart, squeezing it tightly and twisting it menacingly.

The guilt weighed upon him like a ton of bricks made one of his options overpower the other, he didn't trust himself with any rash decisions that were related to her anymore.

The tension in the room felt suffocating, as if two hands gripping on one's neck, choking them.

" No," he finally breathed out quietly, not trusting himself as he averted his gaze away from the girl. He stared down at the floor instead, fists clenched that it would have been a surprise if it hadn't left any marks from his nails that dug in his palm. " We shouldn't do it," he finished.

" What, why?" Chenle argued. " She would be placed in more danger if we let them do it themselves."

" Yeah I agree with Chenle, we should do it or they might just kill her," Renjun pointed out, looking towards the apathetic boy who seemed to not care much about the girl who laid on the bed. " You don't even care about her, do you?" Renjun commented, scowling.

Jisung's head shot towards him, eyes piercing through his soul as if a bullet from a gun shooting through him. " Mind your own business," he spat.

" Yeah, you don't seem to care about her safety, isn't she supposed to be your soulmate or something?" Chenle added, tilting his head slightly like he was trying to taunt him.

" Shut up," Jisung snapped, walking to the door to leave. " Don't act like you actually know and understand me," that was all he said before exiting through the door.

The angered boy stormed away, turning a corner before sliding down against the wall, breathing heavily.

Frustrated tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, he desperately tried to blink them away. " Pathetic," he murmured, rubbing his eyes harshly.

It was as if his facade was crumbling down, his own vulnerable self coming to replace it. Glaring down at his clenched fists as if transmitting the aching of his heart to pain in his fists.

Exasperated, he unconsciously used his fists to punch the ground as if inflicting pain on himself would replace the pain that he had caused Haewon. "Fucking pathetic," he cursed.

" You were the only one to ever understand me," he whispered to no one in particular as he leaned his head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling while blinking back his tears. " I'm not being selfish, I swear," he mumbled, at this point he was just letting out his feelings while sitting in a secluded hallway.

" I love you with my whole existence," Jisung admitted, feeling his heart ache as he vented out his feelings. " T-that's why I can't i-inject it in you," he stuttered, voice merely a gentle breeze that blew, a quiet whisper of some sort.

" Cause if it kills you," he started, voice cracking slightly as he continued. " I would be better off knowing it was because of them and not me."

" And I can't afford to hurt you again, not anymore," Jisung whimpered, unable to stop his tears from flowing anymore. Which led to him giving up, sitting there numbly as he allowed his tears to pour as he stared at the ground.

" Cause really, it's breaking me inside."

plss i was so distracted when i wrote this i was looking at house designs and watching a show at the same time while writing 😼

multi tasking at its finest 😩