They Say Opposites Attract

XXIV. It's Not The Same

It wasn't long after our conversation that we both found ourselves walking outside. With Spring being only midway in, there was quite a bit of humidity that told of an oncoming storm or simply rain. Which of the two it was, I do not know.

As usual, on my walk home, I had my gaze traveling along the bright colors of the town. Despite this, I wasn't quite "looking" at them, per se. Rather than that, I was off on my own world, deep in thought.

Kate, who was walking beside me, tapped on my shoulder, averting my attention from my thoughts to reality. "You sure you're okay?" She asks me with slight hesitation.

At which I have a slight nod. Kate sighed at my response, clearly not believing me still, and slid her hands in her pockets.

"I don't like it when you have such a depressed expression. It ruins your name," Kate tells me as she turns to walk backwards in front of me.

I couldn't help but tilt my head in question. She let out a small laugh at that as she saw my state of confusion. "What? You didn't know that you're name means beautiful?"

Immediately after those words left Kate's lips, we both stopped walking as I took a moment to ponder what she meant by that. It wasn't a long moment, but when it was over, I felt heat rise to my face as it burned a slight red.

I quickly lifted my hands in front of my face in response in an attempt to hide my blushing face. An attempt that went in vain.

I could tell Kate was smiling when she spoke up again, "Now I can't see your face." As she said this, I felt her hand grab one of mine. She laced her fingers in mine and smiled at me.

While the comment didn't go as far as making my heart flutter in the same way that Chloe could, it still left an embarrassing red on my face.

After all, Chloe was special that way. Within those days long past, filled with nostalgia and memories.

Pushing the thought out of my mind, I walked past Kate hurriedly, as to not let her see anymore of my reddened face. As if she hadn't already.

Somewhere behind me, I could hear her steps following me in time with mine. I decided to allow down as the colour in my face returned to normal.

It wasn't long until we got to my house. With a key I was recently granted the possession of, I unlocked the door and let Kate walk in first.

Though, immediately after walking inside, I found myself in a familiar situation. Kate looked deeply into my dark eyes.

I looked back into her heterochromic ones, not struggling against her grasp. Her, who had me against the wall in a manner that Chloe had done with me.

But it didn't quite feel the same.

I couldn't help but shift my gaze away from Kate's, averting my eyes to the bare floor that we stood on. It was only for a second, seeing as I immediately sent her an apologetic expression.

Kate sighed at that, but didn't let go of me. "Miko," she says, using my less used nickname. "That look in your eyes. If you don't want me to continue this anymore," Kate tells me, making me tilt my head a bit to the side, "then tell me, okay?"

I shook my head and quickly twisted out of her grasp. I slid my hands in my pockets and let out a sigh. It's because you're reminding me too much of Chloe, I want to tell her. Despite this, I kept my hands hidden and my notebook in my bag.

Kate sighed and stood in front of me. With slight hesitation, she decided to speak up, pushing the previous topic into the mere past.

"Sorry," she says before adding, "we should just focus on our schoolwork, huh." I looked up at her and nodded almost immediately.

With nothing of note in between, we found ourselves working on the little bit of homework that we were assigned.

"So," Kate started, having decided to break the silence. "What do you normally do anyways?" She stopped working on whatever she was doing to look up at me, who was sitting across from her at the table.

I couldn't help but shrug in response. There wasn't much that I did outside of school. Well, I mean, every so often, I would spend some time with Claire, but that was before she suddenly became quite a busy person.

As for why, I know not.

Kate seemed to have noticed my troubled expression before speaking up again, "Miko..." she seemed to hesitate before saying, "from what I've heard and seen, you don't seem to be living an ideal life, huh?"

At this, I stopped writing, but didn't look up. This was a fact I had come to accept quite a while ago, but never put in the effort to change.

"You know," she says, making me look up at her. "It isn't good to keep pushing people away like this," she says before reaching over the table. I let her take hold of my hand and couldn't help but notice how warm and soft her grip was.

I bit my lip before mouthing something. I wasn't aware of what I mouthed until Kate responded a few hesitant seconds later.

"It's okay to be scared, y'know," As she says this, she she steps around the table and takes a seat next to me. "But the problem involves you not taking any help."

I don't want help, I wanted to tell her, but I knew full well that it'd be nothing but a mere lie. I looked away for a moment before looking back into her eyes.

There was a moment of silence before I moved closer to her. I held onto the bottom hem of her shirt before burying my face in her shoulder. The first thing I noticed was the small of vanilla that was now enveloping me.

Do I want help? I couldn't help but ask myself questioningly. What do I want?

It didn't take long before the thought was pushed to the edge of my mind. Either that or I dozed off. Either way, I was guided back to reality when I felt Kate pick me up.

No, wait, we still have homework, don't we? Was what I wanted to say. Funny thing about that...

I grabbed onto Kate as she was about to set me down on my bed. She seemed to be caught off guard with the fact that I was still awake.

"You are quite the interesting girl, huh." She says before lying down with me beside her.

"It's because you're dependent on others," Chloe would tell me whenever I didn't understand my own behaviour in that way. "You like to be around someone who you can trust."

Thinking back on it, it seems like Chloe knew me more than I knew myself.

Do I know myself at all? Was the last thing I could think of before I fell into a vanilla-induced sleep.