Finding Peace

Chapter Four

I wake up to the sound of voices, "Do you think she's okay?" Voice one asks nervously.

"I don't know, she's passed out in a park, she's probably homeless or something." Another voice confidently remarks. They sound young. Crap! I passed out in the park. Who's gonna make breakfast? I'm so dead. Wait, dead, shouldn't I be dead right now? Why am I still here?

In the midst of all my inner panic, a hand shakes me. I open my eyes to find myself surrounded by children. I mean, I say surrounded but there's only three of them.

"Hey lady, are you okay?" The first voice asks me. I look up at him, he's a short little blonde kid, probably around eight?

"Um, yeah, I think I'm okay. Sorry to freak you out, I think I just fell asleep here last night by accident." I reply hesitantly. What happened last night? I mean I remember a crazy dream about a shadow healing my arms but I mean, I was probably just hallucinating because of blood loss right?

"Ok, well bye lady." The second kid says and leads his friends away. As they leave I can see them whispering to each other and glancing back at me. They probably think I'm crazy. Honestly, I think I might be a bit crazy. That dream seemed so real. I was so sure I was finally dying. I shake my head. I should probably head home. It's still early, maybe I can make it back before they notice I'm gone.

The whole way back, all I can think about is that weird shadow. I open the front door slowly, wincing when it squeaks. I'll have to oil that later. I think as I notice I'm lucky this time. They're still asleep. 

Quickly making breakfast I set it out and hurry upstairs to see if my razor is still there. Just because I fell asleep last time doesn't mean I won't try again. There's no way I'm doing that again. I frantically search the cabinets, but it's not there. I must've dropped it at the park. That doesn't matter though. I can use something else.

Racing back downstairs, I grab one of the kitchen knives and hurry back up to my room. It's actually a good thing those kids woke me up cause otherwise I wouldn't have enough time for this. Sitting by the window so I at least have a good view, I roll up my sleeves yet again only to be shocked by the scars from last night.

It's just your brain playing tricks on you. That's got to be it. They're just scars that father gave you that you just forgot about or something. Last night wasn't real. Besides, there's no way a cut like that could heal so fast.

Pushing my doubts from my mind, I slit my wrist, groaning at the sharp pain. Just as I'm about to make another cut, the window flies open. Dropping the knife in shock, I stare at the dark black shadow in front of me.

"Stop." It's harsh voice grates against my nerves causing me to shudder. It flies over to me and wraps it's hand around my wrist. I can only watch in shock as it somehow manages to heal my wrist.

I look back up at it and narrow my eyes, it seems a bit more transparent now. That might just be my imagination but I'm fairly certain I could not see through it a second ago.

"No more." It demands before it flies away.

Looking back down at my wrist, I see the scar and the knife still has blood on it. There's blood on the floor and on my clothes too. It wasn't a dream. I don't know how that's possible but it wasn't a dream.

Hearing a groan coming from my parent's room, I pull myself off the floor, throwing on clean clothes as I hurry out of the house and head to school. My thoughts keep racing and I do nothing to stop them. I have absolutely no idea what's going on but I know one thing for sure, there's some crazy shadow out there that's trying to stop me from killing myself for some strange reason.

************

School was a complete nightmare. I couldn't focus on a single thing, all I could think about was that shadow and how I have to figure something out before my parents find another client.

Opening the front door, I groan as I realize that, once again, my mother is sat on the couch waiting for me.

"You did marvelous last time dear. He was quite pleased." She stated. "Your next client is tonight." She added with a gleam in her eye.

I shuddered and rushed to the kitchen to make some food and rethink my life. What the hell am I going to do? I can't run, there's no way I'd make it very far with that cut from the bottle in my thigh, not to mention mother's here watching my every move. I could try it again? Maybe it won't find me this time. That's stupid. If it knew where to find you the last two times it'll know where you are this time.

I wrack my brain trying to find a way to get out of this. The next one will be here tonight, as in soon. I hurry through dinner, getting the chicken and rice done and served within twenty minutes.

Rushing upstairs, I return to my room and grab the abandoned knife from this morning. I don't care what that stupid shadow says, I'm leaving this earth now. I'm coming James. I make my way to the bathroom slowly to avoid causing any suspicion from my parents and lock the door behind me. This is happening and it's happening now.

I raise the knife up for the second time today and just as I'm about to cut myself, the door opens and that blasted shadow is back.

"Stop it. Go away! You don't know what this means to me. Why can't you just let me leave in peace?" I ask, pleading with the stupid thing.

"No." It spits back at me.

"Well why not? What is so fucking special about my life huh? Nothing! There is not one single special thing about me so why don't you just leave me be! You can't stop me forever. I'll find a way." I'm basically hysterical at this point. I mean come on, all I want is some fucking peace.

"No." It snaps before grabbing my wrist and starting to fly away while holding on to me.

"No, stop it. Please! Please just let me die!" I scream at it crying as it carries me out the window and off into the night. 

I watch in horror as the city flies past us. Where on earth is this thing taking me? It stopped me from killing myself but maybe that was just all part of it's plan, maybe it just wants to kill me itself. I mean not that I'm super opposed to the idea but, come on, at least tell me. Be like "Oh don't worry, you still get to die, you just don't get to do it yourself." Ugh Zillah, you're actually going crazy now.

Horror slowly becomes wonder as I resign myself to whatever fate it might have in store and start to enjoy the view. I can see the stars so clearly up here in the sky and all the little lights from the houses down below look absolutely stunning. I don't know what's happening right now or where this thing is taking me, but I had no idea how much fun flying is.

It's so freeing. I feel like I could do anything. Closing my eyes, I let the feeling of pure freedom flow over me as I relax in the wind. When I open my eyes again, I gasp in shock at the magnificent view in front of me. In the blink of an eye, the entire world changed. What was once a city in Washington, is now some sort of tropical island. I'm so wrapped up in my thoughts that I don't notice the shadow getting closer to the beach until it's dropping me. Terror fills me as I see the sand coming closer and closer until all I see is black.

Sorry everyone, I know it's short but I wanted her waking up on neverland to be it's own chapter. I hope you understand and I promise, the next one will be longer. Thank you for reading!