Finding Peace

Chapter Sixteen

Pan's POV

Gently carrying Zillah in my arms, I walk as carefully as I can to make sure I don't wake her. I know that I should just take her back to her own tent, but after watching her go through not one but two breakdowns in the space of mere hours, I can't seem to let her out of my sight.

I don't know what she's done to me. I've never cared for someone in this way before. I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing. It shows too. No matter how hard I try to hide it, she can tell. She knows that something is up, she just doesn't know what.

Love. It's something that only exists in fairy tales, right? There's no possible way that I could be falling for some obnoxious girl who quite literally fell into my life, right? I shake those thoughts from my mind. I have enough to deal with right now without trying to figure out what I'm feeling and what that means. It's just going to have to wait until I have the heart of the truest believer and I have the time to worry about it. Until then, she is mine and nothing is going to take her from me, not even herself.

I look down at her peaceful face, admiring her delicate features. Zillah. A perfect name for a beautiful girl. Arriving at my tent, I carefully place her on my cot, being careful not to disturb her slumber. I know that she hasn't been sleeping lately. She thinks that no one is aware of her nightmares, or her late night walks around camp, but nothing happens on this island without me knowing. And now I know why.

When she first got here, I thought it was a ploy, a ruse to draw attention. But after tonight, there's no way that I could think that. The pain in her eyes and the scars, In all my hundreds of years, I have never seen that many scars on a person. And I only saw her arms. Burn marks up and down her arms, more jagged scars than I could count, and the terrible small lines right at her wrist.

I've seen those marks on boys who come here before. The self-inflicted wounds and defensive behavior is common here. I guess that's a big part of what changed my opinion of her. After that night, when we played capture the flag. The terror I saw in her eyes that day, it haunts my mind. No matter what I do, I can't get that image out of my brain.

It shouldn't bother me. I get immense amounts of pleasure from inspiring fear in my enemies, but that's it I guess, she's not my enemy. She never was. She's something else, though I'm not sure what.

Zillah stirs on my cot, scrunching up her cute little button nose and stretching out her arms as she begins to wake. Watching carefully from my seat in the corner, I wait to see if her fury is going to come back. I'd rather like to keep my tent in one piece and not have it burnt to the ground. I think, slightly amused. I really do like her fire. It's clear that she's been through a lot, but she hasn't given up yet. I can still rile her up and get those gorgeous purple eyes to come out and play.

"Welcome back, love." I say softly, walking over to brush the hair from her face. "I hope you slept well."

"I did..." She replies, seeming suspicious of me. "Why are you acting like this?" She questions, narrowing her eyes and crossing her arms in what I'm assuming is supposed to be an intimidating manner. She looks like an angry bunny though, adorable and completely harmless. I know that's not true though. I've felt her power, I don't know how, but it rivals my own.

"Acting like what?" I question right back playfully.

"You know what I mean. You've been all nice and caring lately and then yesterday when I literally knocked you out and lied to your face, you didn't get upset. You haven't blown up at me yet and I want to know why." She demands, narrowing her eyes at me in obvious distrust.

"There is a time and place for delicate conversations and even I know that. I'm not going to further enrage you when you are already literally burning the place down." I reply. She looks down, her cheeks flushing bright red.