Look with your Heart

On the Ship to Coney Island

Trigger warning: there will be some child abuse and self harm themes throughout this chapter. I will mark the beginning and ending of the section that has the worst parts with three asterisks (***). Please reach out to a trusted person or a hotline if you or anybody you know needs help. Stay safe, and love to you all!

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Erik sat up in the uncomfortable bed, rubbing his eyes as he yawned. He looked down next to him, where Lily slept peacefully. It had been a few days from all the excitement, and they had finally settled in the ship. Careful not to wake her, Erik slipped out of the bed and made his way towards the bathroom to refresh himself. 

Once he was done, he exited the room and accidentally bumped into Nadir. "Well, that's nice of you," Nadir said sarcastically.

"Shut up, Daroga, it's too early for this," Erik groaned. "Is Antoinette awake yet?"

Nadir nodded. "She went for some fresh air about ten minutes ago, so I'm going to join her. You're welcome if you'd like." Erik nodded, and they made their way out. Antoinette had found a few seats, and was currently sitting in one as they joined her.

"Good morning, boys," she greeted. "I hope you slept well." They sat next to her, nodding.

"That bed is rather uncomfortable, though," Erik sighed. "I'm worried that Lily won't be able to sleep well." Nadir and Antoinette exchanged a glance, then looked back at Erik, who tipped his head at them. "What?"

The lady laughed softly. "Oh, Erik, it's good to see that you care so much for Lily," she said gently. "I'm afraid that we can't do much about the bed, so you must do the best you can to make sure Lily gets her sleep well enough."

"She was sleeping when I left," Erik nodded. After a pause, he nervously licked his lips and asked, "Antoinette, Nadir, how am I supposed to know how to raise a child? I could barely raise myself as it is, and I worry that I'll end up being a terrible father."

They exchanged another glance, but this time, it was Nadir who spoke. "Erik, nobody really knows what they're doing when raising a child," he smirked slightly. "You just need to do the best you can. I know you're worried about if the child has a face like you, but even if it did, would you let them bear the burdens that you did?"

Erik shook his head fiercely. "No, of course not!" Antoinette silently gave him a cup which he found was filled with coffee.

"Everybody makes mistakes," Nadir continued, actually doing his best to help out unlike a few days ago. "Or, in the case of your mother, makes only mistakes. But you need to learn from your own and your mother's, and truly love the child. I know you are good around children; I saw you with Reza and I know that you will be a wonderful father after you figure things out. As for you not knowing how to raise yourself, that's not completely true. You managed to get from France to Italy to Persia, then back to France again. Granted, you did have Antoinette and I to help you out, but I've never heard of any other teenage boy who has done that before." 

For a moment, Erik was unable to speak. He and Nadir had built their relationship with teasing and sarcasm, but here was Nadir, being sincere, which didn't happen very often. Once he could speak, Erik said softly, "Thank you, Nadir."

"You need to know to discipline your child, though," Antoinette intervened. "If you let them get away with whatever, they will turn into a selfish, entitled brat, and you don't want that to happen. It isn't easy, but you do it out of love, not hate, and you need to make sure that they know that. Not that I'm saying to put them in the attic every time they misbehave, but just know that you must learn how to give discipline. Rest assured, though, you and Lily will be wonderful parents. If you ever need help, Nadir and I are here."