𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 | 𝟏𝟖+ | 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃

xvii

Jade

.

"Which is?" I asked, mischief was glistening within his eyes. His eyes roamed my face because landing on mine.

"It is winter formal, but red is a sexy color. I was thinking about getting you this dress that is silk. It's fitted but flows down, having as a slit for your thigh. What do you think?" Carson asked, he was very excited when talking about the dress.

There was only an issue or two. Fitted and revealed my thighs.

I'm very insecure when it comes to my body, but I do like to act as if I'm not. Even the times with Jaxon, it washed over me but in all honesty, that man never gave me a second to really think about it.

Not that I was complaining.

"I don't know, Carson. I'm not confident enough for that," I said, I felt bad seeing that he was really into the dress design.

"Jade, you're beautiful. It's okay to be insecure but you have to get out of your comfort zone sometimes. What's wrong with the dress idea? Talk to me," Carson said, he always made me feel comfortable. I've known him for about two months, going onto three, and he's never given me a reason to doubt him.

We walk to class every morning, study together, and are able to talk without any issue. Carson was my close friend, I trust him. He's always there when I need him, I just feel like there is something he isn't telling me about.

"I don't like fitted things on me, my stomach looks, weird. Along, with the cellulite on my thighs, it's just ugly on me," I express, shift on the couch. I hate talking poorly about myself, it only makes me feel worse about myself.

"There's nothing wrong with having a tummy or cellulite, it's natural and beautiful. Don't shut your beauty off because of society, beauty standards set by men that don't even know how to please women or even take care of themselves. Are you really going to let that stop you from being confident?" Carson said, chuckling. He began to play with my hair, it caused me to relax a bit.

He had a point.

"It's not because of tha-,"

"Then why are you insecure about those things? If it's not because of society, then why?" Carson raised his eyebrows, staring down at me as I think.

"They're just not pretty, on me," I said, growing irritated.

"But they are, I think they are. I know you think it's beautiful on others, so why are you different?" Carson's hand was now rested on my stomach, while the other played with my hair.

I didn't know how to respond, he was right with every point he made. It natural aspect of the human body.  I only disliked them because of how society talked down about them, and if this was another person talking about themselves like this I would tell them they're beautiful because they are.

I was no different than them.

"You have to treat and speak to yourself just like you speak to others. You're going to be there for yourself before anyone else. If you wouldn't say it to other people, don't say it to yourself," Carson spoke since I had remained silent for quite some time.