𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐕𝐄 | 𝟏𝟖+ | 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐃

xl

*extreme tw*

Jade

.

It's been many months since Jaxon and I started dating. I've been at his house a lot more often, he and I have gotten better. However, Carson and I have become distant, but himAria and he is close once again; I'm very happy for them.

Recently though Jaxon has been acting strange, and I'm starting to come to my senses of understanding what Carson's issue was. Beginning to see why distances himself, and the signs of manipulation are becoming clear. Sex is the only thing he cares about, but of course, every so often he takes me out and makes me loved.

When I think everything is becoming normal, a serious conversation somehow ends up with my head falling back onto his bed as I moan his name with him burying himself within me. Part of me hopes that I am overthinking all of this, but I don't think that's the case. I've made a huge mistake; I come over, I have to let him know prior but today I should surprise him.

It's been a while since we have gotten together, and I see no issue showing up uninvited as he does. Gathering my things after getting ready, I start heading to his house. On my way to the elevator, I pass Carson, making eye contact with tensions of pitty roaming between us.

Once I am out of the building and in my car, I put on Softcore by The Neighbourhood to start. As I approach his house I see a car parked. Looking out of the window, I can see Jaxon's shadow behind a curtain with what seems to be a woman.

Getting out of my car, I cautiously go to the front door with the key he gave. Out of impulse, fear, and jealousy, I unlock it quickly. Hearing gasps, I look to my left, revealing both Athena and Jaxon half-naked. Behind them, you could piece together that they had finished wrapping up lunch.

Analyzing them quickly, it was evident what they had been doing while I was absent. My stomach began to turn, the thought of someone I was in love with betraying me is sickening. I truly did feel as though Jaxon was the love of my life because even though he only used me for sex, he's the only one that made me feel important.

I validated my purpose using his validation. Tears begin to fill my eyes, and Jaxon's face looks at me with remorse, but it quickly goes away. Athena is filled with pity and sympathy.

"Carson was right, wasn't he?" Jaxon looks at me, swallowing the lump in his throat before responding, "I didn't mean to take advantage of you, but I was going through so much. You were truly the only one there that gave me attention and didn't judge me. I'm your professor, I should've never used my authority the way I did. I'm sorry, can we please keep this between us, Jade?"

I look at him astonished as if the words that just left his mouth were all made up in my head. This feels like a fever dream and I can't believe that this is reality. I want to scream and throw everything within arm's reach at his head, but I know that won't make the situation better.

Athena began to open her mouth, but I cut her off as I look at Jaxon. "You made me feel so worthless yet loved at the same time, and I don't know if I love or hate you. All I do know is that you are so fucking gross."

I storm up the stairs to grab the belongings that I left in his room. I didn't hear footsteps behind me, and that's when I knew everything was over. As I finished packing, my eyes roam the room reliving every moment in my head for a couple of seconds. Approaching the front door, there stands Jaxon, Athena nowhere in sight. So many questions ran through my mind as I looked at him. Like how long had this been going on and how long has he been lying to me?

As if he knew what I was thinking he sighed before speaking, "This has been going on for the last few months. I just didn't know how to tell you because you deserve better than me. Jade, I'm so sorry but this was never going to work out. I don't know why you thought it was, I didn't intend to make you feel loved by me. It was just momentary pleasure."

I could feel my throat close, and blood rush. I didn't say anything, just left with a nod before returning to my car. Entering my apartment, my head begins to pound; I lock the door behind me, and go to the bathroom.

Looking in the mirror, I feel disgusted with myself. How could I fall victim to someone like that? How did I fall for the trap, better yet, why did I let this happen? This is my fault, I should've listened to Carson, he knew what he was talking about.

I was so in over my head.

I can't, I feel so gross. I can feel his hands all over me, his breath against my skin. I can't take this; I feel so alone and betrayed. How could I feel this disgusted in my own skin?

I look at the pills that are on my countertop, triggers from when I was younger rush through my thoughts; ones that I shouldn't think.

I'm pathetic.

I grab the bottle, and without hesitation, I down a couple of pills before dropping the bottle carelessly, letting the few pills left to fly around the bathroom. I sit with my back against the tub, after a few moments my body begins to feel weak. My legs and arms begin to feel shaking as my eyes start to feel heavy.

There is a knocking at my door, and regret begins to wash over me but I am too weak to do anything. The reality of what I did hits me, I still don't have enough energy to get up but the front door begins to unlock.

Again, my name is being called. I recognize the voice, it's Carson. His footsteps inch closer to the bathroom. I assume the light shines underneath the door revealing my whereabouts. A faint knock rings through my ears.

"Hey, is everything all right? I saw when you got home, I was on my balcony smoking. You seemed upset, and I wanted to check up."

I can't find myself responding with a clear sentence, my words slur together. "Jade, I'm coming inside, okay?"

The door opens, I forgot to lock it, and relief fills me. With the strength I have left, I swing my head back to look at Carson. Panic flashed in his eyes as he took in the sight in front of him.

Carson immediately lifts up the toilet lid, pulling me towards it, and begins to push his fingers down my throat in attempt to make me purge the pills. Eventually, I gag, throwing up the contents I swallowed. The sound of him dialing was the last thing I could recall before my eyes shut.

I just hope Carson saved me in time.

-

hello, my lovelies! i took a long wattpad break but this is the final chapter before the epilogue!

this is not the best story, and i frankly do not like this book; however, this is my first story so, i definitely have room for improvement for the next!

thank you all for understanding the break i took and for being so patient!

remember you are loved & you matter! <3

please don't forget to vote & comment!

word count : 1,280