THC Meets Poetry

Withdrawal

My heart is aching at the loss of you. Crying in this cell trying to shake these thoughts of you. I'm missing the warmth you'd leave in my chest. Tossing and turning can't lay my mind to rest.

The smell of you is so inviting. Enticing. To experience you is so exciting. When I have you I feel like I'm thriving, but without you I'm writhing. Slowly dying. Wondering where you may be hiding.

Behind dollar bills I cannot obtain. These withdrawals are going to drive me insane I just wanna take this trigger straight to my brain.

I'm craving the way you get my head spinning. Why would I ever want to give you up when the taste of you makes me feel like I'm winning?

I hate that I feel like I need you. Would do whatever it takes to be with you. I would bleed for you.

Now it seems that I am seeking recovery. Walking the halls of this psych ward I find myself in a place of self discovery, but there's no compassion in this journey. Sobriety is far from motherly. 

I'm getting better regardless of the stormy weather, but without your heat I'm growing desperate for a sweater.

You may be the reason for these scars on my arms, but you are also the reason why I see stars and ride in fast cars.

I am forever chasing my next drink. Taking these shots till I can no longer think. I'm searching for my identity in the gaps of my memory. I hate that I have to make you my enemy. It is a fate I had no desire to see. Wasn't ready to get clean.

Now I'm becoming overly aware of my existence and panicking as you test my resistance with a smile so menacing. I'm standing face-to-face with the Grim Reaper himself. He tells me I'm not broken I just simply need help, but I yearn for punishment. Those are the cards I wish to be dealt, but the Grim Reaper stole the deck and put it on the top shelf.

So perhaps I am meant to carry out another day. Try not to let addiction get in my way. Teach myself that I don't have to hurt. I don't have to pay. That my body will heal instead of decay.