THC Meets Poetry

High Thoughts

I'm high and too wrapped up in this music. I think I might lose it. Love and affection has left me tattered and covered in bruises. I keep breaking hearts and I've got no excuses.

I'm getting lost in perfume mist. Aching for just one more kiss. Praying to God that he grants me just this one last wish to spend another few moments in complete and utter bliss.

But I'm just dreaming. I'm packing my shit and I'm leaving. Commitment is making me sick to the point of dry heaving. Emotionally I've stopped breathing. Completely stopped believing. I need to be left alone to finish my grieving.

I am a broken record. A scratched CD. I use all the same material and then repeat. I'm growing numb and can no longer feel my own heartbeat.

I'm filling my lungs until I am suffocating. I can't get high like the first time and it's fucking frustrating. The damage is done and I find myself levitating and dissociating. Mentally relocating.

I awake in a place full of warmth and light. Where the sun never fades and I can escape the anxiety that threatens to keep me submerged in darkness and despair all throughout the night.

I am the only one that exists here as everyone else ran away in fear. Or I Iet them go because I felt that my good karma was reaching its end, and self sabotage was near.

So now I sit in this paradise alone yet I've managed to still cling onto a voice that sings to me on the other side of my phone.

But will that voice still love me if my mind is gone and my body is all that remains? When emotional unavailability binds me in chains? When anxiety has me off the walls and going insane? Will I be accepted or demanded that I change?