THC Meets Poetry

Ride With Me

I think I accidentally got way too high. Sorry if I mess up my wording, I'm just a little bit shy. But if my mind is something you wish to pry, then hop on in the car and I'll take you for a ride.

They say that honesty is the best policy, and that communication is key, but if that's really true then why is it when I open up to people they all just leave me? Don't preach to me about telling the truth if you're just going to deceive me.

When anxiety taunts me I make earthquakes with the consistent bouncing of my knee. These images in my head have begun to get dark and I am struggling to see. This wasn't the man that God wanted me to be.

I'm up, then I'm down in the span of a few minutes. I'm loud one moment, then fall into a silent episode where my voice can only escape in small snippets. Do you really wanna watch the horror film that is my life? Well then you better hurry and buy tickets.

I needed my ex fiance to tell me that she wanted this. I don't understand how we could have failed... I put her on the top of my priority list. She was supposed to be the hand that covered my clenched fist. Together we were supposed to coexist, but my affections were something that she would constantly dismiss. She has left me with a knot in my stomach that I just can't seem to untwist.

I talk about her all the time, can't get her out of my mind. Blowing smoke clouds trying desperately to unwind, I'm beginning to become emotionally declined, praying for that all merciful God in the sky to wipe me out of mankind. I can see her behind my eyes making me wish that I was blind.

I'm on the phone with addiction, trying to convince him that this dependency is fiction. I just need to get my shit together and adjust my position. learn how to be silent and listen, but I desire to get lost in the visions where things are euphoric and I forget about my bad decisions. Not a single fuck that is given.

Is it wrong to want to hurt in a way that is more aesthetically pleasing? To crave the feeling of my heart rate increasing? to feel that the blood in my veins is in need of releasing? These intrusive thoughts got me running and screaming. begging and pleading. Stealing all feeling. I can't stop staring at the ceiling and wondering why I don't seem to be healing. I'm going to doctors desperately trying to escape this stillness, but nothing I take seems to work. Why is it so hard to find a fucking cure for my mental illness?

I'm keeping pretty girls in my back pocket cause I ain't ready for the person in my heart shaped locket. With them
I'll have stability, but if I stay a single bachelor I know that I'll make a better profit. Suddenly I'm anxious and commitment is not it, it's making me nauseous, sick to my stomach and wanna vomit. Got a big stack of security relationships I have to go to hell just to deposit. Because I'm an asshole, and that's something that seems obvious. Can you not tell by my cockiness or did you get lost in my audience? 

I'm broken and in need of fixing, because I am not okay with the life I have been living.

I haven't got much more left to say, but if you enjoyed your ride with me you are more than welcome to stay and vibe with me. Get high with me and tell me all about your favorite TV series.