Osomatsu-san (x Reader) Headcanons

Babysitting

Art belongs to: iwannovaka on Twitter

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Oso:
- wouldn't know what to do
- the baby starts crying, putting it to sleep is the only solution
- tries to feed the baby normal food
- "Diaper changing? Tf is that"
- watches p*rn in front of the baby
- legit takes the baby with him to pachinko and horse raising
- loses the baby
- where the fuck is it
- "Oh fuck I'm not gonna get paid"
- basically a terrible babysitter, don't let him watch over your kids

Kara:
- doesn't really know what he's doing, but he's doing it right
- accidentally overheats the milk
- sings the baby to sleep
- wouldn't change the diaper because it's disgusting
- the baby almost dies by putting a fork in an outlet
- Kara saves the baby in the last second
- a decent babysitter who learns from mistakes
- the only problem is your baby's gonna get home all stinky

Choro:
- doing his best
- covers the outlets and hides all objects that might harm the baby
- can't get the baby to sleep and becomes annoyed by its crying after some time
- would ask for help at times
- is actually responsible
- changes the baby's diaper with no problem
- probably the best babysitter

Ichi:
- doesn't know what to do
- treats the baby like a cat
- can't change the diaper for shit but will do it since it's necessary
- always holds the baby in his arms
- gently rocks it to sleep and would maybe sing a lullaby like Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
- a good babysitter, just very insecure and scared

Jyushi:
- tries to teach the baby baseball
- makes a mess while changing the diaper and feeding the baby
- the baby falls on the head but doesn't get hurt
- Jyushi still thinks the baby is gonna die
- everything he does makes it look like the baby's about to die
- very worried but tries his best to keep the baby safe
- overall less than average babysitter
- wouldn't recommend if you're not ready to clean the baby as soon as you get your hands on it

Todo:
- wouldn't even babysit
- but if he had to he'd take good care of it
- acts like a cute mom
- would dress up the baby and take selfies with it
- would enjoy feeding the baby until it spits on him when it doesn't like the food
- would wear extra extra EXTRA protection when changing the diaper
- if you want your baby to be fab, turn to Totty