Wanda Maximoff Oneshots

Learning a Language

With Wanda as my girlfriend I was bound to learn something in Sokovian. I only know four words though, and none of them are helpful. Funny, but not helpful. If your wondering what words I know, here they are Тупица, дерьмо, блядь, and картофель. In English that translates to dumb@$$, $h!t, fvck, and potato. Like I said before funny, but not helpful. I learned the first three all in the same night. It was also that night that Wanda and I confessed our feelings for eachother. It all started on a normal Friday night...

I was in the kitchen making dinner. It was only me, Pietro, and Wanda in the tower. Everyone else was on a mission. I felt Pietro rush past me, with Wanda close behind.

"GET BACK HERE PIETRO," I heard her yell. It was quiet for another second and then BOOM. Silence. Then a scream.

"MY NOSE! ". You probably guessed it, she ran into the wall.

I dropped my fork and ran to where the noise was coming from. Pietro ran back too. Wanda was on her knees with her hands cupped over her face. I pulled her back from the wall and gently pulled her hands off her nose. It was swolen, misaligned, and black and blue. There was blood, so much blood. She was crying and it was just an all out mess.

"Дерьмо, блядь, дерьмо-" Pietro panicked.

"Go get some gauze and meet us at the car" I said. I picked Wanda up bridal style and brought her to the car. She whimpered as I placed her down in the back seat.

"It's okay Wanda, we're just gonna plug your nose so you don't bleed everywhere and Pietro's gonna drive us to the hospital." I answered softly.

"He's a тупица" she cried softly. Pietro ran into the garage and tossed the gauze in the backseat and hopped into the front.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, Hospital now!" Pietro said to the A.I.

After a half hour car ride to the hospital, a two hour surgery, an hour in a recovery room, and another half hour car ride home, we all finally stumbled into the tower. Wanda was already dead asleep in my arms as I carried her to the elevator. The others were all sitting in the living room in silence. I can probably understand why they looked so shocked. Wanda had two blackeyes, a splint on her nose, and was passed out in my arms. I wasn't exactly a sight for sore eyes either, I had blood all over my shirt and shorts, bags under my eyes, and my hair was a mess. Natasha finally opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off.
"We had an accident" I whispered as I propped Wanda's head up. They all nodded their heads and turned back around to focus on whatever they were doing.

I brought Wanda to her bed and propped her up on a pillow. She was still wearing her clothes from the day, so I gently rubbed her shoulder.
"Wanda.." I whispered. She whimpered and rolled softly.
"Wanda, I'm gonna help you change into some comfier clothes. Are you okay with that?"
She nodded slowly.

"Alrighty" I whispered.
I gently picked her up and peeled of her top, I grabbed a large t-shirt from her closet and softly pulled it over her head. I rolled her skirt off and pulled a pair of leggings up her legs. I sat next to her as she fell asleep and picked up the book on her nightstand. Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott.
"I never knew you liked this kind of stuff" I whispered as I opened the book.
About an hour or so later, I felt her roll over over bit.

"Hey, are you feeling any better?" I asked as I saw her sit up a bit.
"A bit"
"I was wondering, why you were chasing Pietro earlier?"
"Would you believe me if I said we do that for fun?"
"Nope"
"He read my diary.... and it had something about who I liked in it" she explained.
"Oh, valid reason. If you don't mind me asking, who was it?"
"Well, she.... is very beautiful. And kind. She has gorgeous eyes and perfect hair. She's always been there for me. She's also smart and funny. She's also uncomfortable at the sight of blood, but somehow pulled herself together today." she laughed.
I sat there in shock.
"I'm talking about you" she nudged.
"I'm aware, just in shock"
"Shock?"
"Because the most beautiful, kind, perfect, smart, funny, girl in the universe just told me she liked me."
"Beautiful. Even with a broken nose?" She jokingly questioned.
"Even with a broken nose" I answered and kissed her on the forehead. She smiled and lay back down. I lay down next to her.
"Can I ask you one more thing?" I whispered.
"What?"
"What did you two say in Sokovian today?"
She leaned over and whispered the translation into my ear. I blushed and my eyes went wide.
She laughed and went back to sleep. I fell asleep shortly after with her in my arms.

So yeah. The first words I learned in my girlfriend's native language, were swear words. How sweet.