Wanda Maximoff Oneshots

You Ever Wonder How...?

"Babe. Hey Babe. Baby..." Wanda whispered excitedly. I rolled over and looked at the clock.
3 a.m..
"What's wrong darling it's 3 in the morning" I rolled over and wrapped my arms around her.

"You ever wonder how-"
"Baby, I'm gonna stop you right there. If you start, I won't sleep tonight"
She nodded understandably and rolled back over.
"Someone telling you 'maybe if you go to sleep you'll feel better in the morning' is the human version of 'have you tried turning it off and back on again?'" She whispered quickly.
"FINE. What am I supposed to wonder?" I said sitting up.
She did her little happy dance when I flicked on the lamp. Trying to hide a smile I looked down, that's when she leaned on my shoulder.
"See bubs, your smiling"
I rolled my eyes playfully and looked down at her.
"Alright darling, tell me what your thinking about" I said as I placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Someone made dinosaur sounds for movies without even hearing them, they could've been speaking German and we would never know" she said
"Guten Morgen, Herr Pterodactyl" I joked.
"You stop that, I'm serious!" She said as she hit my arm softly.
"Alright baby, what else?" I asked.

"How can your body replicate the feeling of falling in nightmares if you haven't fallen from that high of an altitude before?" She asked.
"No, remember that time over Quebec?" I corrected.
"Okay. From the perspective of someone who has NOT fallen out of a plane, how does it do it?"
"I don't know?" I admitted
"Exactly."
"Anything else?"

"If 666 is evil, then 25.806975801127 is the root of all evil" she said.
"Do you have a calculator?" I asked pulling up the comforter and sheets. She pulled the covers back down and snuggled back up to my side.
"No, but I did this morning" she laughed.
"How does a thought like that even naturally occur to a human?" I questioned
"I don't know"
"Next?" I said

"If you attempt to rob a bank, you won't have any trouble with rent or food bills for the next ten years. Regardless if you are successful or not."
"Wanda, we're the good guys" I reminded her.
"I know, but I am right" she defended.
"Alright, what else?This is the last one." I sighed looking at the clock as it ticked closer to morning.

"Tater tots is short for potato toddlers" she laughed as she turned off the lamp.
I rolled over and wrapped my arms around her,
"You're going to be the death of me, bubs" I whispered.
"Don't say that darling" she said.
"You ever wonder how much I love you?" I whispered.
"All the time"
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AN: I fell down a rabbit hole of shower thoughts and ended up writing this, hope you enjoyed.