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Chapter 19

A/N hi lol

it's been 10 months since the last time I updated. I owe you guys an apology, but really, it came down to a lot of things. Namely, I didn't have time because of school, I was going through writers block, and I hated my style of writing (which I still do). I struggled to write a decent chapter because everything I wrote, I hated. I thought about discontinuing this book but this book means a lot to me and I really just want to finish it off. This book's been weighing on my mind a lot and it's not fair to some of you who are attached to the characters thus far. I can't promise my updates will be weekly, or even monthly. I might disappear again. But if you like this book, you'll stick around :) I have it all planned out, it's just the writing part that's the hardest for me. I'm going to try my hardest to finish it, so please be patient with me. Thank you if you're still here after all this time, I appreciate it more than you know.

   Several days later, our agreement to study for the upcoming math test led me to reach out to Carson. Since Claudia gave me his number, I sent a message, anticipating his response. The silence that followed suggested he might be asleep.

As I waited for the shower to heat up, I checked my phone and replied to a message from Montgomery. Our daily texts had dwindled to once a week. He asked about my week and mentioned that Miles told him I was hanging out with new people. Miles, it seemed, had seen me with Ilya at The Grill a few weeks ago. I hadn't seen much of Ilya around lately; he probably returned to college in the neighboring town. I wondered if I could get in touch with him.

After showering, I entered the dimly lit living room, illuminated only by the TV screen.

"Dad, can I use your laptop for something?"

Dad turned away from the TV, which was playing a documentary about the Cuban Missile Crisis. "Sure, what for?"

"It's for a school project."

"Yeah, it's in my room." Dad chowed down on his cold spaghetti and returned back to staring at the T.V.

In Dad's room, while searching for the laptop, my eyes landed on a framed photo of Mom on his nightstand—their wedding picture. I couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't put it away. Maybe he was holding onto the past in some way. I swallowed and continued my search for the laptop.

I found the laptop in Dad's drawer. It was dusty, painfully slow, and some letters from the keyboard were missing but it'd have to do.

I got on Facebook and searched up Ilya's name. Nothing sprung up, with the exception of a middle aged man from Arkansas. Carson had already told me that he did not use social media because he considered it a waste of time. I backed spaced Ilya's name and looked up his mother's name instead. Surely she'd have Facebook, as was the case with most middle aged parents.

Claudia Rivers.

She had four posts, and every one of them were pictures of Carson.

Carson grins at the camera in one of them, dated 2016, but he looked awkward and out of place, almost like he was forced to take the picture. A long tube was connected to his nose, and his skin looked as white as paper. Claudia captioned the photo at the bottom with 'please pray 4 for my Carse, he's in the hospital for the third time this week'.

Another one on Claudia's page displayed a smiling Carson next to a petite redheaded girl with the caption 'my sweet angel is in the hospital for the 3rd time this year. But it's OK because he found himself a friend'.

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