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a/n picture of Ilya above.

so the reason why my updates are getting so slow is because I was thinking of discontinuing this book... I'm not sure if I want to keep writing it because 1) I hate my writing style, 2) I feel like it's not interesting enough and 3) I barely have time to update and I feel pressured to. Thoughts? If y'all reallyyyy want then I'll keep it up but expect updates to be slow.

Chapter 9

"Firstly, we would like to welcome those of you who have lost faith or seeking it, wondering about God or new to the church."

As pastor Weston Caldwell said that I turned to look at Carson over my shoulder. I sat in the front row, because Dad, who was wearing his best button-down shirt and slacks, always liked to leave the house early to find us good seats.

Carson's family, their hurried footsteps echoing in the cavernous space of the church, arrived a fashionably tardy ten minutes late. The heavy scent of polished wood and aged hymnals permeated the air as they quietly shuffled to the back pew. Carson sat between his mother and father, a grim expression on his face.

Unable to capture Carson's attention, I shifted my focus forward and absentmindedly began tugging at a stray thread on my shirt. Miles was typing away on his phone, which he had tucked beneath his jacket on his lap.

"Get off your phone, Miles," hissed Dad.

"I'm reading the bible on my phone," Miles whispered back. I snorted. He was on Instagram.

"Let us offer one another a sign of God's peace," said the priest after the Lord's prayers.

The room buzzed with movement as people shifted around. I strolled over to where Holly Dae was seated, extending my hand for a shake. Brodie clung to her side. "Why, thank you, madam." Her laughter bubbled as she clasped my hand.

Continuing down the pew, I approached Claudia and her husband. Her face lit up at the sight of me, and she took my hand in hers. She smelled like a flowery perfume. "Peace be with you," she said to me.

Carson's father and I exchanged a smile and a handshake. He was a tall, brooding man. He looked exactly like what Carson would in twenty years' time.

I walked up to Carson still in his seat. He raised an eyebrow, and his mom nudged him. With a sigh, he got up, and I had to look up to meet his gaze, forgetting how tall he was. He reached for me, squeezing my hand in his large one. His hands were icy cold."Peace be with you," I said, giving him a quick smile.

I just wanted to get that over with because I hated the feeling of his hand on mine. His mother met my eyes and gave a bright smile.


Savoring a slow sip of my strawberry milkshake, the sweet aroma of freshly grilled burgers and the tangy scent of ketchup and mustard lingered in the air. Holly Dae and I lounged at The Grill on a lazy Sunday afternoon—our cherished pastime. The booth's faux leather beneath us was cool to the touch, a pleasant contrast to the warmth of the midday sun streaming through the large windows.

Holly Dae absentmindedly toyed with the cross necklace beneath her shirt. "I just want her to end things with him," she complained about her mom's boyfriend. "He does nothing but lounge around. Mom has me looking after Brodie constantly. I barely have time for homework anymore."

I stole a bunch of fries from Holly Dae's plate. "Listen, I am willing to help out from time to time. Just shoot me a text. Plus, Brodie's not as annoying as other babies."

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