When You Least Expect It

30

a/n when I get around to finally editing through this whole book, there'll be less chapters overall. there might be 10-15 chapters after this, then it's over? let's hope.

also slightly pg-18 content ahead soo yeah, be warned!

vote/comment xo

Chapter 30

Holly Dae and I were tucked away in a corner of the library, surrounded by stacks of biology textbooks. Our mid-term exam was tomorrow, and we were determined to cram in as much knowledge as possible. The library, usually a haven for quiet study, buzzed with the energy of students cramming for exams before the holiday break.

"What are the three main types of symbiotic relationships?"

I stole a glance at my notes. "So, we've got mutualism, where both organisms benefit, then commensalism, where one organism benefits, and parasitism, where one organism benefits at the expense of the other."

Holly Dae didn't look impressed. "I saw that. You've been looking at your notes all day."

I sighed and slumped back in my chair. "I haven't had much time to study. There's a lot on my mind."

I'd been on edge for weeks, waiting anxiously for a response from the arts program Mr. Reynolds had recommended. After digging deeper, I discovered the program was located in Tarrytown, Westchester County, New York. I hadn't worked up the courage to tell Dad about my application yet, afraid of his reaction. My portfolio had been sent a few weeks ago, and Mr. Reynolds mentioned I should expect to hear back about the interview round in January.

At least, that's what I've been telling myself. It's exams that are making me feel this way. It's college applications that are making me feel this way. It's the anticipation of Dad's reaction if I told him I'm applying to out-of-state colleges that's making me feel this way.

But deep down, I knew the real reason for my heavy heart, the source of this constant feeling of unease. And I wondered how he managed to slip back into his normal life so effortlessly as if my presence had never even mattered to him.

As Christmas drew near, downtown began to glow with the spirit of the holiday season. It was tradition for the town to hang a towering Christmas tree in the town square. Dad had an entire collection of photos capturing our family's annual pilgrimage to the town square, where my brothers and I would pose with cheesy smiles in front of the majestic tree. Meanwhile, our neighbor, Clyde Davenforth, decked out our street with festive decorations and adorned the lampposts with garlands of evergreen and vibrant red bows.

Christmas had always been my favorite time of the year. I was supposed to be feeling festive. Beneath it all, though, I felt miserable. The looming deadlines for essays and scholarships hung over me, suffocating any semblance of holiday spirit. And then there was the mess with Carson. When he actually decided to show up, I'd notice his occasional glances in my direction at school. It was as if he was torn between acknowledging me and keeping his distance. The latter always won.

The holiday season had thrown me into a whirlwind of activities and distractions, leaving me with barely enough time to concentrate on studying. With college applications, mid-terms preparation, and the rush of Christmas shopping, Carson didn't occupy my thoughts as much as I had anticipated.

Maybe, I thought, this wasn't such a bad thing. Keeping myself busy had its advantages. Otherwise, my mind would be consumed by thoughts of him and the cheerleader from the bar, swirling around in an endless loop, making me feel physically sick to my stomach.