Spiderson One-shots Whump

Cold

TW Graphic and talk of mental health

Rain poured out of the sky. It was one of those nights where no one would go out due to the harsh winds, the rain and the freezing temperatures.
That's why it was so weird that there was a figure to be found on top of Brooklyn Bridge.

The figure was soaked and huddled over shivering and shaking with cold. Next to him were empty bottles of liquor and razor blades.

Peter didn't care anymore. His whole life he had been spit out and been outcasted, leaving deep scars on his soul that couldn't be erased. Nothing could help him, there's was nothing that would be able to dull the hurt in his life. Years of bullying and being disliked for having a strange sense of humour or ranting about things he loved had destroyed him.

He trailed the white and grey lines on his arms with shaking and numbed fingers, he had always wished he could tear into his arms more, but with the risk of his family finding out he couldn't. It had already been bad enough when Wanda had found out but she had promised she wouldn't tell if he'd stop. So he refrained from using his arms and continued on every part of his body that wouldn't be visible.

His hand trailed his sore side, wincing at the burning pain radiating from his hip up to his ribs where he had dug in with his blades behind closed doors.

His stomach cramped painfully, the lack of food and the alcohol making him double over in pain and letting out a weak whimper. He was so done with life.

It sucked that Ned wouldn't talk to him as much either. His friend took classes at a different school and would often leave conversations over text quickly with saying he was busy or had stuff to do. Peter wouldn't have minded, but he always saw Ned hanging out with friends on Snapchat afterwards.

But it didn't matter anymore, nothing did. That's why he was here.
He reached over the empty bottles and clasped his blade in his blue fingers, lifting up his sleeve.
He gritted his teeth as the blade tore through his flesh, exhaling as the crimson welled up and was washed away by the rain in big amounts, covering his entire forearms and pants as it pooled under him.

He felt dizzy and tired. He put down his blade and clutched at his soaked shirt, wiping angrily at the tears and raindrops that dripped from the curls sticking to his face.
He couldn't do this anymore. A choked sob left his lips. He hadn't cried in years and was used to bottling up his feelings. He hated himself, he hated how weak he was.

Rubbing at his face, he peered over the edge down at the water. It was usually calm because of the strong winds it churned and crashed into the bridge's pillars.

Peter looked back over his shoulder at the glowing city that he loved and had protected for two years. He smiled sadly at the memories of patrols and of his home with the Avengers and his dad. He knew the letter on his bed would crush them but he'd taken care of everyone for so long now.

It was his turn now. He had had enough.

Peter looked back down at the water and shivered, but the ghost of a smile on his lips. The he scooted over the edge and he fell.

A crash of lighting ripped through the air as he plunged into the water and he sunk. The water softly caressed his face as he bled out in it's embrace. He stared up at the surface in a daze, watching the airbubbles dance up to where the light filtered through the waves.

Blood poured from his abdomen and his vision turned yellow slowly as he smiled and closed his eyes.

Mercy.

=======
It's been a while huh? Sorry about that.
This was a bit of a venting chapter I guess because I'm not doing well and the stuff up here's canon with my life so ayee. Also sorry if there's mistakes I don't feel like double checking this or having someone Beta this I'm so sorry.

Also should I make a part 2 of this where we see everyone's reactions?

I nearly have summer vacation so I hope I'll be writing more then. I'm also thinking of writing LOTR Aragorn and Legolas angst so if you're interested please let me know. Again I'm sorry I left y'all waiting for so long.