Nowhere to hide

9. goodbyes are forever

jocelyns pov:
"weren't you taught that staring is impolite?" i quickly turned my head to his direction and said as softly as i could as to not seem aggressive. heaven knows what triggers angry silent mafia men these days.

no change in his facial expressions whatsoever. "i wasn't staring. simply looking at the person who was speaking, which i think is quite polite." he said, finally looking away from me.

"well, whatever helps you sleep at night. glad we could help, hope you feel better fiore. aster," i look over to him with a little smile, "would you be so kind and show us out, please?". without returning the gesture, he got up and lead us out of the room, through the warehouse.

as we walk closer to the exit the man i previously "fought" stood there with a nervous smile. i realized that as he is one of asters guards, i'll have to somehow dissolve the awkwardness, so i did the first thing that came to mind, the most rational thing- apologize. "hey, loré,, mi dispiace. non sapevo cosa fare- e- e pensavo che saremmo stati rapiti... non averi dovuto attaccari." (hey, loré. i'm sorry. i didn't know what to do and i thought we were going to get kidnapped. i shouldn't have attacked you.)

"it's okay kiddo, i'm sorry too. i had no idea someone called you in and i didn't know who you were so i had to get you out before aster saw you. i'm sorry i was so aggressive." the huge man finally showed a genuine smile and i returned the gesture, happy that there was already a guard in this place i could trust and am on good terms with. that's some progress, i like to think.

i quickly waved a goodbye to hun and mumbled a "see you later", turning around to exit this building, but as i did so i bumped right into a tall figure. i looked up to see aster with a small smirk playing on his lips.

"you have an interesting effect on people, don't you jocelyn? already befriended and guard of mine, i see." he said with a monotonous voice, letting his smirk fade away until it completely disappeared from his face.

"what can i say. politeness and charm are my most outgoing qualities," i say with a smile as i turn away from him "goodbye aster." i start heading towards the exit before i am once again stopped, only now by his voice.

"don't say that." he said, no emotion in his voice and no expression in his tone.

i turn around to face him "why not, aster?" i call out seeing as i am far away enough from him to have to be a bit louder so he could at least hear what i'm saying.

"don't you know? goodbye is forever jocelyn. i'm sure i'll see you soon enough again." he speaks, walking closer to me as he does so.

"alright, well,, i guess ill see you seen then, no matter how much i wouldn't want that." i say, reciprocating his cold demeanor. he looks at me as he slowly lifts his eyebrow in either amusement, shock, or both.

"well that was a bit rude, don't you think?" he says, coming closer to me than what was initially necessary.

"what makes you think i'd want to see you again?" i say, deciding to play along. "well, once you finish your books, i'm sure you'd love to see me once more."

"civilian attire. never any of this, aster." i say, letting out a huge breath i didn't know i was holding in. "you know i'm only here to protect you, i'd never hurt you." his eyes still on me, never leaving mine.

"but i don't want to have to need you. i don't want to need protection because that means i will have something to be protected from. that doesn't change the fact that i will get sucked back into this, aster, none of this will ever change the fact that i will be dealing with something i've been avoiding so desperately. none of it, none, will change the fact that i will need this protection because of all the wrong reasons, and you expect me to want to see you again?" i say, taking in a deep breath after wasting all of it on my little speech.